Sunday, September 30, 2018

What Color is Love?

The excitement in my daughter's voice danced through the phone when she called me a few weeks ago to tell me she and my son-in-law had received a call ... a call they had been waiting on for months. There were children in need of a place to call home ... children needing to be fostered by parents who had the intent to formally adopt them. Four children, to be exact ... four siblings ranging in age from 2 to 13, three boys and one girl. Four children... yes, four children. Not one, not two, not three ... four. Four siblings who were on the verge of being sent to separate homes because … well … because it's difficult to find foster parents who want to adopt a group of four kids. Without ever having met the children or even seeing a photo of them, my daughter and son-in-law said yes and within a few short days, they were picking up the children and bringing them home. Even though it's only been several weeks since they joined our crew, these four precious children are already teaching our entire family a whole new way of loving.

As you may have guessed from the title of tonight's post, the four new additions to our family don't have the same skin color as the rest of us. They are of Sudanese descent, which means their skin color is dark … a rich, flawless, beautiful dark color. They are tall and slender, another trait possessed by many Sudanese people, and all four have quite gorgeous dark brown eyes. It will be obvious to people who may see my daughter and son-in-law out and about with all their kids in tow that they are not their biological children. Without a doubt, there will be times when my kids will be questioned about how the six of them became a family, and I know that they will happily provide the answer ... faith and lots and lots of love.


In the midst of the deep joy I feel about these four beautiful little humans joining our family, I am also keenly aware that we live in a world where traits such as integrity, honesty, depth of character, respect, compassion and love often seem to be the exception rather than the rule. A world in which what is considered to be acceptable behavior is judged based on the level of depravity, anger, deceit, greed, abuse or hate rather than how much integrity, kindness, honesty, generosity, compassion or love a person possesses. When I consider what the future may hold for each of my six grandchildren, that is without question a fear that permeates the very depth of my soul. The fear that we're becoming immune … that we're growing numb … that we're embracing complacency … that we're accepting that the new standard of measurement for right and wrong is coming from the mentality of choosing the lessor of evils. You bet that keeps me awake at night ... it keeps me awake and it terrifies me for my grandchildren and the world they are growing up in.


I truly believe that the only hope we have for the future is love. It is imperative that we find a way to love and respect one another, friends. No matter the color of our skin or what gender we are or whether we are rich or poor or what political party we choose to support or what our sexuality is or any of the plethora of other things we use every single day to create division among us, we must love and respect one another. The only way to overcome a world filled with depravity, anger, deceit, greed, abuse and hate is to do band together in the commitment to love one another more than we love ourselves. That's a tough ask, I know, especially in the times we live in, but deep down in my gut I know it's what we have to do if we want things to change. I know it, and my guess is that many of you know it as well.


I'm sure by now you're on the edge of your chair waiting with bated breath to know my answer to the question posed in the title of my post, so here it is ... love isn't any color. I don't believe that love ... true, deep, abiding, selfless, unconditional love ... is any color. It's not black or white or any other color in between, or at least it shouldn't be anyway. The kind of true, deep, abiding, selfless love I'm talking about doesn't give a dinosaur's behind about the color of people's skin or if they're male or female or how much money they do or don't make or whether they're straight or gay. Wait ... maybe I was wrong to say that love isn't any color. Maybe, just maybe, love is actually a million different colors.


Colors like listening when someone needs to talk ... buying lunch for a friend who's struggling financially ... puppy sitting for the people you love (even though you know that puppy will pee on your carpet) ... reading to an elderly man who is losing his eyesight ... telling someone who is lonely and depressed that she matters to you … baking cookies for the new neighbors ... wiping a friend's tears ... giving a coat to a kid who doesn't have one ... forgiving the person who hurt you, again and again and again … cheering your kid on at the game ... saying please and thank you and opening doors for old women like me ... caring, really and truly caring, that what you say and do affects others in ways, both good and bad, that you can never imagine or see coming.

What color is love, friends? It's saying yes to four children who need your love and a place to call home. Welcome to the family, kids ... we're so glad you're here.