If Salami Grew on Trees

Remember that one time last December when I said a dear friend told me I was one of the good guys and that the good guys team needed me to get off the bench and get back in the game of writing? If so, hopefully you also remember I said I wasn't promising I'd be back to writing hundreds of posts like I'd done in the past, but that I hoped to write more than I had in the last couple of years. Even though I haven't posted since the end of January, I want to assure you that I haven't regressed to my prior bench-warming status and that I fully intend to follow through on my "I hope to write more" statement. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me for my last two months of writing silence, I'd very much like to share with you the reasons why I've been on another short hiatus from posting.

By the way, lest some of you might jump to the "Oh my gosh, the depression wolf broke throughTerrie's window," way of thinking, please know that most of the reasons I haven't been writing are quite positive ones. In fact, some of my whys ... or why nots, as the case may be ... are downright, totally flipping awesome. While a couple of the reasons for my recent lack of wordsmithery aren't exactly wonderful, they are far from being awful or life-derailing and I'm doing my absolute best to see them as opportunities to grow and learn rather than allow them to fill me with despair or cause me to lose hope. Now that we've gotten that little bit of housekeeping out of the way, let's talk about what a wonderful world it would be if salami did indeed grow on trees.

Let's start with February … ah, yes, let's definitely begin by talking about the month of February. For those of you who don't know, my oldest son and his family have been living in the small town of Jena, Germany, since last July. My extra brilliant professor son was invited there to work on a research project with a German university for a year, and they'll be heading back to Canada in a few months. So … drum roll, please … I spent almost the entire month of February in Germany! Thanks to a brand new sabbatical program that was rolled out at the beginning of the year by my employer for those of us who've worked at the company for eight years or longer (I'm coming up on 17 years in October, by the way), I didn't have to think twice about how and where I wanted to spend my extra four weeks away from the office … fully paid, I might add, along with a $750 stipend for travel expenses if I left the U.S. and immersed myself in a new culture. So that's exactly what I did … I hopped on multiple airplanes and spent almost a whole month in Germany. Not a small feat for an old gal who spent most of her life afraid of flying … one leg of the trip had me in the air for 9 1/2 hours … and who was only a couple of months out from having a stroke. Not a small feat at all, and yes, I'm pretty darn proud of myself for making the trip.

Honestly, traveling to Europe was never on my bucket list, but now that I've gone, I definitely want to go again. I saw things I never dreamed of seeing, like the Dom Cathedral in Cologne … an experience that has taken on even deeper meaning in light of the devastating fire at the Notre Dame Cathedral. I stood in a field where Napoleon led his troops into battle and tried to imagine the emotions he must have felt. I ate sausage from a street vendor and lived to write about it. I walked my granddaughters to and from school on cobblestone streets and beamed with pride as they introduced me as their "Oma." I spent a day with my son walking the grounds of Buchenwald … a concentration camp where thousands of Jews, gypsies and homosexuals lost their lives during the reign of Adolph Hitler. I blinked back tears each time I saw Stolpersteines on the sidewalks in front of houses or businesses… brass stones honoring Jews who were removed from their homes or places of work and taken to the concentration camps. I went to a museum that houses the world's third largest collection of Picassos and spent a day at the largest inner city zoo in Europe. I played pirates and hide and seek and make-believe. I read bedtime stories and snuggled with my two favorite little Germadians and laughed until I cried with my son and daughter-in-law. It truly was a grand adventure, friends, and I will be forever grateful I had the opportunity to go.

Now let's talk about March and the first half of April and why I didn't rush right home from Germany and write my little heart out. These are those not exactly wonderful reasons for my lack of writing that I mentioned earlier … not the most fun to talk about, but like I said, I'm determined to approach these stroke-related issues as opportunities to learn and grow rather than letting them become things that make me want to burrow inside a cave and hide. While I've made great strides in my post-stroke recovery, it seems that I may be a reading pirate a while longer than I'd originally hoped … which, for some reason, my grandkids have decided is totally cool. Personally, I'd certainly prefer not to have to patch my left eye when I read, but at the same time I'm extremely thankful for my pirate patch as it enables me to continue to work full-time at my job as an editor. By the way, that's a giant life lesson I've learned since having a stroke … never take anything for granted. Proofing and editing used to be so easy for me and now … well, suffice it to say that it's a bit harder for me now. Not that I'm not still the best proofer/editor ever … I just have to work at it more than I did pre-stroke. Which in some ways is actually good in my particular line of work because it makes me more determined than ever not to overlook any errors. So what does that have to do with my lack of writing? After I work all day, my brain is tired of looking at words, and that includes writing them, too. When I come home in the evening now, all I want to do is take Ollie for a walk and not read or write a single solitary word.

I know what you're thinking … you completely understand why I'm not up to wording after I work all day, but why in the heck haven't I been writing on the weekends? Two reasons … one awesome and one not. First the awesome ... I've been spending more time than usual with my U.S. kids and grandkids on the weekends. Heck, I even spent one whole weekend babysitting my granddogs Chewbacca and Jabba at Brad and Shelby's house (so much fun, by the way, for me and Ollie, too!). I've been to movies with friends and last weekend Ollie and I went for several long, relaxing, peaceful walks. And now the not … sometimes I have a little trouble pulling my thoughts together these days. It's hard to explain, but maybe the best way to put it is that it's like my brain is still in recovery mode and I have some difficulty doing any extracurricular thinking. Or maybe it's that the creative section of my brain is sort of in "sleep mode" and needs a bit more time to fully wake up. As much as I'd like to tell you it isn't so, the truth is that I get a little frustrated now and then that I'm not fully back to normal yet. But when that impatience starts creeping in, I'm learning to stop, look in a mirror and to remind myself just how incredibly blessed I am to be where I am today and remember that every moment … every breath … every smile is a gift.

For those of you who continue to send me notes of encouragement, well wishes and support, I truly can't begin to thank you enough. Please know that I'm still here and that I have no intention of giving up on writing … I'm working on it, I promise. And for those of you who send me not-so-nice messages … well … well … well … poop on you. :)

One last thing … about the title for tonight's post. While I was in Germany, my youngest granddaughter asked me a bunch of crazy questions, not the least of which was, "Ghee, does salami grow on trees?" When I told her I was pretty sure that salami didn't grow on trees, her reply was precious. So precious, in fact, that I'm seriously considering incorporating it into my newfound "be thankful" motto for living.

"Well, Ghee, I think salami should grow on trees because salami is delicious and it would be good to be able to just go outside and pick as much salamis as I want off the trees and eat them right there and say that is so yummy."

Love and hugs to you, my friends … have a blessed Easter … one filled with love and gratitude for the greatest gift of all.