The Mosquito in my Shorts

First things first ... thank you for the mountain of emails you've sent pleading with me to start writing more frequently again. I am deeply humbled by your kind words and your concern for my emotional and mental health. I assure you that my lack of writing over the past couple of weeks isn't because I've crawled into my cave or that I'm in the fight of my life with the big old wolf who seems to have taken up permanent residence just outside my window. Nothing quite so dramatic, I'm afraid ... I simply haven't had enough time to write. Or perhaps I should say I haven't had enough time to write the way I want to write ... from my heart ... always from my heart, friends. Now that my house is officially on the market, I won't have to spend my evenings re-staining every single baseboard and door in the house or washing down all the walls with Magic Erasers (best freaking cleaning thingies ever invented, by the way) or cleaning carpet or down on my hands and knees scrubbing the floors. I'm guessing that might free up just a tiny bit of time for me ... and yes, I'm being sarcastic. Everything always takes way longer than I think it will when it comes to doing stuff around the house. Hmmmm ... I wonder what in the world I'll do with myself when I don't have house stuff to do anymore. But back to my original statement ... thank you all so much for your support, encouragement and concern. I sure as heck don't get why so many of you like to read my oftentimes borderline insane ramblings, but I'm truly thankful if getting a glimpse into my totally whacked-out brain helps a few of you along the way.

So a couple of nights ago, I'm sitting in my spot on the couch in my living room ... the same spot I sit in every night ... with Ollie curled up next to me snoring like a freight train while I answer a few emails. I'm typing, Ollie's snoring ... just another boring night at home. Until ... until all of a sudden the tops of my legs started itching like crazy. And in less than a minute, the backs of my legs, my stomach and my lower back joined the itching party. I seriously thought I was going to scratch myself to death ... no, I mean really scratch myself to death ... that's how badly I was itching. Crazy, right? No, what's crazy is that I sat there for a good 10 minutes or longer scratching like a banshee before I finally stood up, pulled off my basketball shorts and tried to figure out what in the world was happening to me. I may or may not have uttered a few choice words when I saw all the welts on my upper legs ... there were eight on my left leg alone. I hightailed it into the bathroom and looked in the mirror ... between my legs, my stomach and what I could see of my lower back, I counted 28 mosquito bites. Yep, 28 welts left by what I could only assume was one demon-possessed mosquito that somehow got himself stuck inside my shorts. It took more than a half tube of Benadryl Cream to finally tame the itch, but by the next morning I was pretty much back to normal.

Now I know you're all expecting me to share with you the big life lesson I learned from the mosquito in my shorts incident, and since I've already disappointed enough people in my life this week, I certainly don't want to disappoint all of you, too. So here's the thing ... the great big gigantically huge thing I learned from all those mosquito bites. If something doesn't feel right ... if something makes you want to scratch your skin off ... if something hurts like heck, get up and check your shorts. Don't sit around thinking the problem will solve itself, because it won't ... in fact, more than likely it will only get worse. If I'd gotten off the couch and checked when my legs first itching, chances are I would have only had two or three bites instead of 28. What became a big problem for me would have been far smaller had I only made the effort sooner ... had I gotten up, peeled off all my clothes and checked my shorts for mosquitoes at the first sign of something amiss, I would have been far better off and much less itchy.

Go ahead and think on that for a while, friends ... go ahead and mull it over, stew on it, do some serious contemplating. Always check your shorts for mosquitoes, friends ... always, indeed.