Just Like Atticus and Elmore

You could search the world over and never find two men more different than my dad and his good friend Elmore. From the color of their skin to the way they ate their food, Daddy and Elmore were as different as any two men could be. A lot of folks said theirs was a friendship that would never last ... people would shake their heads and whisper beneath their breath, "What is Atticus thinking? He can't be friends with Elmore ... those two are as different as night and day." Now I know what you're thinking ... you're thinking people said those things because Daddy was white and Elmore was black, but you're wrong. Even though my dad was born and raised in the deep South, I honestly believe Daddy never cared about the color of a person's skin ... I believe Daddy only cared about the color of a person's heart.

The people who criticized the friendship between my dad and Elmore did so not because of the difference in their skin color, but because of the difference in pretty much everything else about them. They both worked at the railroad, but they had very different jobs. They both went to church, but Daddy was Baptist and Elmore was Lutheran. Daddy was a Chevy man, but Elmore loved his Fords. Elmore was terrified of water, and Daddy loved to swim. Elmore came from a wealthy family, while Daddy's family was dirt poor. Elmore had a college degree, and Daddy dropped out of school in the 8th grade to help take care of his family after his mother died. You get the picture ... my dear old Daddy and his good friend Elmore came from two different worlds ... worlds that would say theirs was a friendship that would never last. Daddy and Elmore's friendship happened unexpectedly when Elmore was going through a tough time and Daddy was there to help him out. Though many thought the friendship that was forged between my dad and Elmore didn't make sense or even that it should have never existed, the truth is the two of them were friends for decades ... yep ... my dad Atticus and his buddy Elmore were faithful friends until the day my sweet Daddy drew his final breath.

Remember the friend who hauled me into the conference room a couple of years ago when I had my now infamous coming out breakdown? Well ... the two of us remind me a lot of my dad and Elmore, minus the differing skin colors. Ali and I come from different backgrounds, and we've had different life experiences. I'm a lot older than her ... my kids are grown and one has kids of his own, and she has two teenagers at home (bless her heart). She's married, and I'm not. Ali is positive, upbeat and ready to take on the world, and I'm more like Eeyore than Pooh these days ... more likely to want to pull the covers over my head and escape when things get hard. We work for the same company, but we have very different jobs. I love my little Subaru, and Ali is crazy about her big SUV. I grew up in the Baptist church, and Ali was raised in the Episcopal church. She is girly and loves glitter and sparkles and foo fooey stuff, and I'm Converse, bow ties and suspenders all the way (or jeans, flannel shirts and hiking boots depending on the occasion). Ali has more marathon medals than I have teeth (no, really, I'm serious), and I'm most definitely a walker and not a runner. Ali is as straight as an arrow, and I'm ... well ... I'm not. You get the picture ... we come from two different worlds ... worlds that would say ours is a friendship that will never last ... a friendship that doesn't make sense ... a friendship many would say should have never existed. Just like Daddy and Elmore, ours is a friendship that happened unexpectedly ... a friendship that began because Ali was there to help me out (no pun intended, by the way) ... a friendship I can only hope will endure the test of time.

Last week, a young gal in my office sent me an email in which she spoke about my friendship with Ali, and it was her words that inspired me to write tonight's post. She began her note by saying, "Terrie, I've been at SHS for almost two years and I've thought many times about sending you this email and then decided I shouldn't. But something happened today that pushed me over the edge on writing you and I hope it's ok that I am." Needless to say, I was intrigued ... are you kidding me? Of course, I was intrigued and wanted to read her email as fast as I possibly could to find out what in the world this sweet kid could have to say to me that had caused her to have such trepidation about sending me a note.

"Like I said, I've been here almost two years and I heard the story about how you and Ali became friends after I'd been here a couple months. I think it's awesome you and her are such good friends and it sets a great example for everyone else that works here. I don't mean this in a bad way that your job is less or you as a person are less in any way but it's awesome that someone like Ali in leadership is friends with someone like you that isn't.

I don't have any real friends at SHS and I get concerned about not fitting in sometimes. That's what makes you and Ali's friendship so inspiring is that you and her are so different and it doesn't matter. You're awesome Terrie and I'm really happy you decided to live. I don't get to talk to you anymore and I miss hearing your Coraline stories and seeing you smile. You have been so nice to me ever since my first day here and it means so much to me. Thank you for reading this and have fun walking your wiener dog!"

After I stopped crying, I replied to the young gal's sweet email and told her I'd be honored if she would consider allowing me to be her friend. I thanked her for lifting my spirits and reminding me that maybe ... just maybe ... being different isn't such a bad thing after all. Maybe ... just maybe ... it's time to understand that the differences between us can serve to make us better people ... if we let them.

Just like Atticus and Elmore ... I think I'm okay with that ... I think I really am okay with that.