A Loss for Words

I'm sure many of you were abundantly curious when you read the title of this evening's post, since I rarely am. At a loss for words, that is. If anything, I generally fall into the too many words category, be they spoken or written. But last Friday morning when one of the co-CEOs of the company where I work made a special announcement, I was totally at a loss for words.

I was sitting on the counter at the back of the conference room, and in the spirit of being open, honest, real and transparent, I was having a really hard time focusing on the meeting. But when the co-CEO began talking about the religious freedom bill in Missouri, SJR 39, you can believe it pulled my wandering mind back into the meeting. SJR 39 is a bill requesting an amendment be made to the state constitution stating that businesses could refuse service to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender persons by citing certain religious beliefs. As I sat there listening to one of the leaders of the company where I've been employed for close to 14 years talk about the bill, I broke out in a cold sweat and thought for a moment I was going to throw up. Why? Because everyone in that meeting knows I'm gay, and for reasons I don't even understand, I felt like a fish in a bowl under a spotlight.

While I can't remember word for word what the co-CEO said last Friday morning, I do remember her saying that if the bill is passed, it could have a detrimental effect on businesses in Kansas City. I vaguely remember the "business-y" stuff she said, like how the bill could affect our company's ability to recruit good people to come to work at SHS, but I will forever remember what she said in regard to why the leadership of our company had chosen to publicly sign a petition in opposition to the bill. Stating that they believed the bill to be discrimination in its truest form against the LGBT community, she said the following words: "We as a company are going to do what's right in regard to SJR 39, and signing the petition is doing what's right."

It's no secret that I've gone through some tough stuff since I told the truth about my sexuality a little more than 3 years ago, and it's also no secret that the co-CEO who made the announcement on Friday morning is the gal who escorted me into the conference room that hot August day in 2012. Over the last couple of days, I've thought a lot about the decision the leadership team made to sign the petition when it was presented to them. They didn't have to, you know ... they could have chosen to have the company remain neutral regarding such a sensitive political issue. I've thought a lot about something else over the last couple of days, too. I've thought a lot about the journey I've been on since the day I came out ... the journey that for some unknown reason intersected with one of the people who would eventually make the decision that the company I work for will do what's right regarding discrimination against the LGBT community. 

Though I was at a loss for words on Friday morning, there are two I'd like to say tonight to the leadership team of SHS ... thank you.