Always, Never and Free

Being a senior editor for an advertising agency means I live my life in the land of words. I read all day. I read little words, and I read big words. I read easy words, and I read hard words. I read words about cheese. I read words about surgical prepping applicators. I read words about investment options. I read words about pizza. I read words about parasites in horse and cow poop. No, really, I'm serious about the parasites. And, if you haven't already guessed, I often put words down on paper, too, or on the computer, I suppose. So I guess it's safe to say that words play a pretty huge role in my life.

Today I received a text from a friend that said, "I'm officially cancer free!" And I said aloud when I read it, "Awesome, awesome, awesome news!" My friend has been through so much over the last year or longer ... I can't even begin to tell you. I've said so many times that having diabetes is a walk in the park compared to what she has experienced. She's been so strong ... she never gave up even for a second in her fight for life.

Not long after reading my friend's happy news, I sat in the waiting room of a new endocrinologist that my primary care physician sent me to see. I couldn't help but think of my friend, and the word free ... the word that meant so very much to her on this cold and rainy day. My name was called, and after the perfunctory question and answer session with the nurse, blood pressure taking and pulse counting, I waited again ... passing the time while I waited alone in the drab and gray room by reading the charts about diabetes that covered the walls. The doctor entered the room and spent about 45 minutes talking with me, unusual for a specialist, I thought, to take so much time and ask so many questions of me. As she wrote a prescription for patches to put on my often hurting and sometimes numb and tingling feet, she said some things that I'm sure will linger in my mind for a long time to come.

"You will never be able to go off of diabetes medication. Never. You will always have to test your blood sugar several times a day. Always. Your life will never be like it was before. Never. The disease of diabetes will always progress and march forward. Always. "

As I drove home from my appointment, three words kept rolling around in my mind ... always, never and free. God always loves me. God never walks away from me. God's grace and mercy are free.

Always, never and free.