I Know

This may come as a shock to some of my loyal readers, but in my younger years, I was always in trouble. Sometimes a little trouble, like when I superglued some erasers to the chalkboard in 5th grade. That trouble cost me a few hundred sentences stating, "I will not glue erasers to the chalkboard in Mrs. Elder's classroom." Sometimes a lot of trouble, like when I made snowballs for a group of guys who were throwing said snowballs at passing cars. That trouble cost me an overnight stay in the tiny Red Bank, Tennessee, jail. Funny, a few decades later, those times of being in trouble in my youth seem so trivial, so minor, so slight in the grand scheme of things. But at the time ... you can bet your last buck that at the time when I was smack dab in the middle of that trouble ... it was a gigantically huge big deal to me.

As I was driving in to work this morning, I was thinking about the whole concept of being in the middle of a time of trouble. I was thinking about the people of Japan and the trouble so many in that country are experiencing ... trouble that is of a magnitude that most of us will thankfully never have to endure or can even begin to imagine or understand. I was thinking about the trouble that families in the midst of divorce live through and the loneliness and hurt that accompanies the breakup of a home. I was thinking about the trouble that pervades the lives of those who are trying to overcome addictions and of the brokenness and pain that become a moment by moment walk for them. I was thinking of the trouble that follows sin and of the way that sin permeates hearts and destroys lives. The middle of trouble ... being in the middle of trouble ... is never a fun place to be.

While my admission of my times of youthful trouble may be a shock to some of you, I'm quite sure that my next statement won't be. I've found myself of late in a time of trouble, not physical trouble, mind you, but trouble of my mind and my soul. Trouble that reaches to the very core of my being, trouble of my heart that I've never experienced before. Trouble that seems to have no beginning, no middle, no end. Trouble that hurts, trouble that frightens, trouble that drowns. I don't know why I'm here. I don't know where I'm going. I don't know how to fix it. I don't know ... I don't know ... I don't know. For all the "don't knows" in my life right now, however, there are some things I do know.

I know that I love God. I know that He loves me. I know that should every person in my life walk away from me, God will never leave me. I know that He has a reason for where He has me. I know that God is with me ... He promised to be with me ... even in the deepest and darkest valleys ... and I know that He always keeps His promises. I know that a little over 11 years ago, I walked into a relationship with His Son Jesus. I know because of that choice on a cold and rainy Monday afternoon ... when my life here is finished, I will walk into an eternal home that is unimaginable to me now. I know beyond any doubt that my Redeemer lives.

I know ... I know ... I know.