Just Give It to Me Straight

There's just something extra special about the times when one of my kiddos stops by to visit me unexpectedly, especially now that they are all adults. I'm not sure I can even put into words why those visits mean so much to me or why they evoke such different emotions than when our time together is scheduled and planned out in advance. What I can say, however, is that last Friday when my son Brad dropped by my office for a few minutes after returning some camera equipment he had rented to a shop just down the street from our building ... when Brad dropped in unexpectedly to see me that day, it was like medicine for my soul. I heard him talking with my friend Hilary at the front desk, and I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his back. He reached up and placed his hands over mine on his chest and held them as he talked, and it was one of those sweet and tender moments between a mother and her all-grown-up little boy ... one of those moments that couldn't have come at a better time, a time when I needed so desperately to be able to wrap my arms around my son and draw strength from the steady, unwavering assurance of his love.

If you know Brad at all, you know that he's an outspoken fellow ... a young man who speaks his mind openly and freely about the things in life he's passionate about (think back to my previous posts about what our family lovingly refers to as "Brad rants"). There's no subject too tough for Brad, and he's especially fearless when it comes to speaking out about injustice or the unfair treatment of certain groups of people in society. While I sometimes disagree with my middle kiddo's approach, I truly admire Brad's willingness to stand up for his convictions no matter what repercussions may come his way. I can always count on Brad not to mince words, not to try and sugar coat or gloss over the hard stuff, and not to back down when things get uncomfortable. But I can also always count on Brad to love me unconditionally, to be ready in the blink of an eye to fight anyone who mistreats me and to defend my integrity and character against those who would judge or condemn me. I can always count on Brad to give it to me straight ... good stuff, bad stuff and all the stuff in between. Granted, now and again, what he has to say may be difficult for me to hear, but Brad always gives it to me straight.

Last week when I took a few days off from blogging, I mentioned that I needed some time to think and contemplate some decisions I need to make. In the course of that thinking time, I thought a lot about what I write in this blog ... the things I write about in my posts and the words I use or don't use. I thought about people who have suggested that I not write about certain subjects and those who suggest that I write more about certain subjects. I thought about how words can promote healing and acceptance, or how they can incite anger and hate. I thought about the words I write in this blog and the words I say when I speak. I thought about words that are hard and words that are easy. I thought a ton about how and what and when and why I write this blog, and I made a decision ... well, a decision I've been pondering for quite a while that some recent conversations caused me to realize I must address. So here's my decision ... I will write from my heart or I will stop writing. Period. That means there will be times when I will write about views or beliefs or opinions that will make some of you angry. It means I will write about things I believe to be true and honest and real. And that means sometimes my choice of topics will make some of you angry. But again, here's my decision ... I will write from my heart or I will stop writing. Period.

Now having said that, I'd like to leave you with something straight from my heart tonight ... yep, I'm going to pull a Bradley and just give it to you straight. I've learned some big lessons about the power of words over the last year ... now that's an understatement for sure, eh? And a whole lot of those lessons revolve around one small three-letter word ... you know the one I'm talking about, that one word. Three times today, I heard different people use that one word in a certain way ... a way I've heard that one word used a gazillion times ... a way that wounds me every time I hear it. Three times today, I heard the following statement ... "That's so gay." Things aren't gay ... people are. And things don't have feelings, friends ... but people surely do.