The Only Way Out

It's odd to me how the memories of certain events from my youth have come storming back into my mind over the last year or so. Some of those memories are of happy and good times, others ... well ... let's just say that others don't reside in the land of all things warm and fuzzy. Take the time I got lost in the woods on a camping trip with some friends for example ... the very thought of that day causes my palms to sweat and my head to spin. I remember the fear that enveloped me when I realized that I had lost my way, that I was off the path, that nothing looked familiar to me, that none of my friends were nearby ... a fear that went all the way to the core of my being. Looking back, I'm not sure which was worse, knowing that I was lost or fearing that I wouldn't find my way out of the woods before the light of the afternoon became the dark of the night. Obviously since I'm sitting on my couch with two sleepy doggies and I'm typing this post, I found my way out of the woods that day ... it took me a while and several tries, but I eventually found my way back to the camp and my friends.

I will readily admit that before I found myself smack dab in the middle of it, I knew little to nothing about depression. Today, however, I know the meaning of terms such as major depressive disorder and clinical depression, and I understand more about the neurotransmitters serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine than I ever wanted to. I'm well acquainted with the stigma that accompanies depression and how isolating the illness can be. I completely get it when people with depression say they feel lost and alone and unable to find their way out of the darkness that surrounds them. The most important thing I've learned about depression over the last couple of years is this ... that to stop fighting the daily battle against it is not an option. It's a pretty simple choice really ... either I fight or I give up. It's the choice between hope and despair ... if I stand up and fight, I have the hope of happiness and freedom ... if I lie down and quit, I lose everything, and I do mean everything, that matters most.

The holiday season is often a tough time for many reasons ... family celebrations following the loss of a loved one, the financial pressure that may accompany gift-giving, tensions or disagreements between family members, being separated from family and friends by long distances ... the holiday season can be difficult for many, many folks, and not just for folks who struggle with depression. With Thanksgiving knocking on the door, I thought it would be a good time to remind you of the signs and symptoms of depression which I'll list at the end of this post. Remember that people with depression are all around you ... keep your eyes and your hearts open, and pay attention to the signs and the warning signals that someone may be considering suicide. And remember this most of all ... step up and step in ... better to risk making someone angry than to attend their funeral. 

Someone in my office asked me today what I would write were I to know that it would be the last post I would ever pen for this blog. I told them I'd have to think about that for a bit, but tonight I think I know at least some of the words I would write. I would say treasure the people you love for the precious gifts they are. I would say tell those people often how much you love them ... tell them really often. I would say hug them ... a lot. I would say let the little things go and focus on the things that matter ... things like laughter and honesty and compassion and faithfulness. I would say be kind to one another ... carry one another's burdens ... be there for one another no matter what ... love one another unconditionally.

That's the only real way out, you know ... to fearlessly and faithfully and formidably love one another. Step up and step in, friends ... step up and step in, and love your hearts out.

Signs and symptoms of depression:

• Withdrawing from family and friends.
• Feeling hopeless.
• Feeling helpless.
• Feeling strong anger or rage.
• Feeling trapped -- like there is no way out of a situation.
• Experiencing dramatic mood changes.
• Appearing depressed or sad most of the time.
• Talking about death or dying.  
• Abusing drugs or alcohol.
• Exhibiting a change in personality.
• Acting impulsively or recklessly.
• Losing interest in most activities.
• Experiencing a change in sleeping habits.
• Experiencing a change in eating habits.
• Performing poorly at work or in school.
• Giving away prized possessions.
• Writing a will. 
• Feeling excessive guilt or shame.