This Year, I Went Looking ... With My Ears Wide Open

On November 30, 2012, I posted an entry to this blog titled "Ears Wide Open." A post in which I penned some words that had been sent to me by a friend via instant message the day before ... words I recognized as being profound when I read them ... words I understood contained within them deep meaning and importance ... words I realized I needed to pay attention to and remember. The truth is ... I didn't even begin to know how those words would change my life ... I had absolutely no idea how life-changing those words were that day or how life-changing they would forever be.  

"Don't ignore those signs. You keep listening. With ears wide open. I know that's not the saying. But it is today. Ears wide open."

Each year, our company gives all of the employees a ham at Thanksgiving, and today was ham day. And as has been the case every year, there are some folks who choose to donate their hams to people who are less fortunate. I can't recall how it came to be that I became the person who delivers the donated hams each year, but I do know this ... I am humbled and blessed and honored to do so. Most years, I took the hams to a local homeless mission or a facility for abused and neglected children. Yep, I would pull up to the mission or the youth facility in my nice car where an employee from the organization would meet me and take the hams. A couple of times, I went inside and met some of the residents, but more often than not, I never got to see the faces of the children and adults the hams would be feeding. Until last year ... until the day after my friend told me I needed to listen. With my ears wide open. Until last year ... until the evening I listened and stopped my car. Until last year ... until I stood on a street in the bad part of town giving away the hams. Until last year ... until I saw their faces ... until I smelled their stench ... until I hugged them tightly. Until last year ... until I listened with my ears wide open.

Last year, I stumbled upon the families who needed to receive the hams ... I stumbled upon them because I was in a hurry to get to the mission and traffic was heavy. Only a few months earlier, I would have never considered driving through the neighborhood I did ... in fact, I would have been terrified to drive there in the daylight much less after dark. Yet today, I believe that I was meant to drive down that street on a dark and cold night last year ... you can bet your last dime I believe I was meant to drive down that street. But this year ... this year, I went looking for another street like the one from last year. This year, I went looking ... unafraid ... undaunted in my mission ... unwilling to stop until I found where I needed to be. And the minute I saw him ... the kid without a coat in a short-sleeved shirt on a cold, dark night ... that's when I knew I had found the place. That's when I heard Him whisper ... "Ears wide open, Terrie ... ears wide open."

His name is Antoine, and he lives with his 91-year-old grandmother in a run-down house off of Troost in Kansas City. He took my hand as we walked from house to house giving away the hams, telling me which families needed food the most. I gave him the sweatshirt and ball cap I had in my car, along with a blanket and some snacks I always have with me in case my blood sugar plummets. He told me that he lives with his grandmother because his mother died when he was four years old. He hugged me tightly as I handed him the last ham from the trunk of my car, and I could feel the outline of the bones in his back as he clung to me and said, "Thank you, Terrie ... thank you and them people at your job." And then he looked up at me with his coal-black eyes and said, "You believe in God, Terrie?" I blinked back the tears as I said, "Yes, buddy, I do." Without missing a beat, young Antoine said, "Me, too." And with that calm and tender acknowledgement of Who led me to him tonight, Antoine turned and waved at me as he climbed up the rickety stairs to his home ... carrying a giant ham in his arms and whistling.

Last year, I didn't want to see ... last year, I didn't want to listen ... last year, I didn't want to live. This year, I went looking ... this year, I went looking ... with my ears wide open.