Over the years since I began penning this blog, I've written a great deal about my Southern roots and what it was like to grow up in a small town in southeastern Tennessee. Though the town has undergone many changes since the days of my youth, in some ways it remains the same even today. Sweet tea is still the standard drink of choice in restaurants and at the family table when everyone gathers for lunch after church on Sunday ... people still kiss one another on the cheek when they say hello or goodbye ... the sweet smell of honeysuckle blossoms still fills the air in the summer months ... folks still wave at one another and stop to "chat for a spell." In post after post, I've given you glimpses into my childhood and allowed you to have a peek or two at my teenage and college years as well. I have so many wonderful memories from growing up Southern ... memories I count as precious treasures I will forever cherish deep within my heart.
I was more than a little surprised when tonight's guest blogger first contacted me to ask if she could write a post for my blog ... actually, I was a whole lot surprised. Though we attended school together from elementary through high school, we weren't close friends by any stretch of the imagination. We were acquaintances at best, and I must admit that I had to rack my brain to remember who she was when I received her request last fall. After emailing back and forth a few times, I agreed to allow her to be a guest blogger. She sent me tonight's post back at the beginning of December, and quite honestly, it's taken me this long to garner enough courage to publish it. I am honoring her request to remain anonymous, but she agreed that I could tell you she is currently a tenured professor of psychology at a university in another state. Her words are humbling to me ... words that remind me anew how important it is to value one another ... to help one another ... to listen to one another ... to see one another ... to love one another.
"I want to thank Terrie for allowing me to write a post for her blog. I have been reading The Tree House since 2010 when a former classmate forwarded me the link. Reading her words has become part of my morning ritual before I leave my house each day; Terrie's magnificent style of writing shouldn't have shocked me since she was always in the elite group of writers each year that we were in school together and I enjoy seeing her writing grow deeper and more intuitive with every post she writes.
I first met Terrie in 5th grade when my father's job brought my family from Alabama to Tennessee. It didn't take long for me to know Terrie was a unique personality; every kid in 5th grade wanted to be friends with her. She had an easy smile and quick wit that attracted both children and teachers alike. I was a shy child who spoke only when spoken to, and I was mesmerized by Terrie's outgoing nature. She talked to me when the other kids teased me and called me names and she was one of the few people I could talk to without any fear of judgment. From those early 5th grade days until the day we graduated from high school, I looked up to her as someone I wanted to emulate. I lost track of Terrie when I moved to attend college in another state, but the impact she had on me remains even now.
I matured less quickly than most of the girls my age and it wasn't until 8th grade that I first began to be attracted to boys. I had a crush on a boy named Andy but my extreme shyness prevented me from ever interacting with him, even when one of my two friends told me Andy thought I was cute. I had three classes with Terrie during that year, and perhaps because my own awareness of the opposite sex was heightened, I suddenly became aware that Terrie was different from the other girls. I noticed her group of friends included more girls than boys and she became known as a jock due to her athletic prowess. I don't recall hearing the word gay used in regard to Terrie, but I do remember hearing rumors about her being one of "those." I don't know whether Terrie knew about the rumors or if she even heard them herself. For her sake, I hope she didn't, being a teenager is hard enough without having to face ridicule or judgment because you are different. I know that to be true because I was taunted and teased without mercy because I was so shy and physically awkward.
I know you are probably asking why I am telling you these things about Terrie and here is my answer. As I mentioned previously I began reading Terrie's blog in 2010. I went back and read every post from the first one she wrote and I've read both of her books. I have read between the lines and felt the pain in her words as she has fought against depression and I understand personally her reluctance to take the antidepressant medications. When she posted her coming out post last January I wasn't surprised but I was deeply saddened by the thought that Terrie was close to taking her own life. I shudder to think that we could have lost Terrie for no other reason than the shame and guilt our society and certain people of faith have for decades heaped upon people within the gay community. It makes me furious to know her willingness to be honest and open about her sexuality in an attempt to help others has opened her to criticism and hatred to such a degree that would drive many others back into hiding or worse.
Terrie was honest when I wrote to her and told me she didn't remember me. But I wanted her to know I remember her and how kind she was to me. I remember her talking to me when no one else did. At the start of each semester, I encourage my students to be aware they may be someone's lifeline without knowing. Thank you, Terrie, for being mine."
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