Sometimes it's difficult to believe that Fred Phelps didn't really become a public figure until a little over 15 years ago when he gathered together the members of his small church and staged a protest at the funeral of a young man named Matthew Shepard. For those of you who don't know who Matthew was, he was beaten, tied to a fence post and left to die in rural Wyoming allegedly because he was gay. It was the sign-wielding Fred Phelps and the people from the Westboro Baptist Church who protested at Matthew's funeral that caused old Fred to gain notoriety around the world as the preacher who hated homosexuals. And over the years, Fred somehow found a way to twist his already warped theology even more, directing his unique brand of hate and condemnation toward an ever-growing variety of people and organizations.
I'm sure most of you have heard by now that Mr. Phelps passed away last night, and I'm sure many of you have also read, as I have, the enormous litany of commentary concerning his ex-communication from the very church he founded, speculative reasons for why he was booted out and calls to protest his funeral. But for all the words I've read over the last few days about Fred Phelps (and I've read a ton, trust me) it was a quote from Judy Shepard, Matthew's mother, republished from an interview she gave several years ago, that pierced the very depths of my soul. When she was asked for her thoughts about Mr. Phelps, she replied, "Oh, we love Freddy. If it wasn't for him, there would be no Matthew Shepard." Interesting insight from a mother about the man who stood holding signs of hate and condemnation on the day she was burying her son ... interesting insight indeed. But stop and think about it ... hundreds of young men and women, both straight and gay, are murdered every day. Fred Phelps and his decision to protest her son's funeral caused Matthew Shepard to never be forgotten. Sometimes I wonder if Fred ever wished he would have done it differently ... Dennis and Judy Shepard went on to create the Matthew Shepard Foundation, an organization that helps millions of people within the LGBT community throughout the world.
As I've read and thought about the death of Mr. Phelps today, my heart has been with my dear friend Nate. Though he escaped from his father's reign of terror and hate many, many years ago, I know that the news of Fred's passing has stirred up a great deal of emotion for Nate and other members of his family who chose to separate themselves from Westboro Baptist Church and the teachings of Fred Phelps. I can't help but think again about the words of Judy Shepard, and in doing so I'm keenly aware of another truth ... without Fred Phelps, there would also be no Nate. It's easy for me to imagine a world without people who teach and preach and espouse the kind of hate that Mr. Phelps preached, but I can't begin to imagine a world without people like Nate ... people who are loving and kind and compassionate ... people who demonstrate courage and bravery to fight against hate ... people who refuse to give up until justice prevails.
So to you, my dear friend Nate ... my heart is with you tonight as you grieve the loss of your father. And to you, Fred ... I hope that wherever you are, you finally understand that in the end ... in the end, the most important thing is love.
6 comments:
There is just one thing I worry about. The children of this cult. While I do not want to protest the funeral or do anything hateful I would want to still have a show of defiance present. Not one of hate but of love. Something that if any child in this cult saw... they could not help but question their parenting, belief, and indoctrination. An overwhelming show of love. One not with a mindset of hate (that they preach) but instead a showing that humanity (while in disagreement to their ideology) STILL have the empathy and altruism to care. If I were a child in this group and saw thousands of gay men and women showing their love for my misguided parents. A message of complete peace... It would be a strong sentiment.
A beautiful post with a poignant message. It's my firm belief that love will out. I'm a genderqueer lesbian and hold no malice towards Fred and his 'church'. They have helped us further our equality campaign with each and every protest and documentary. My thoughts today are with those left behind by this man, and the damage he did internally to his family. I wish Nate, Libby, Grace, Megan and all those who left a way to find peace in the days and weeks ahead.
Well done. Thank you.
As someone who lives in Topeka, and went to school with Shirley, I Have to say that I believe Nate and the others That left the WBC are truly brave ,Its the weak that stayed. I only hope now Some If Not all will at least Re-Think what they had beaten into them for so long.
In regards to the first commenter. I worry about these kids also. They are beautiful and smart, until the open their mouths, then hate just spews out. So sad.
I get what you're saying about how a show of love might affect them, on the other hand though, so would a show of exactly what the family has done over all these years.
It's sad to say, but if they felt how bad it hurts to be on the receiving end, that might also change their minds...?
I know in the end this man will get his just deserves. We are not to judge him as he did others, he had to face God in the end of his life. Hopefully the rest of the family will turn their selves around and see the light. God love his family and give them comforted in this time.
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