Get Lost

One of my greatest fears when my three children were young was that one of them would be kidnapped or get lost. My guess is that most parents have at some time experienced that paralyzing fear in the moment when your kiddo is missing from your sight ... you go running through a crowded store screaming his or her name in sheer terror while all sorts of horrible scenarios of where your little one might be or whom they might be with go barreling through your mind like a locomotive on steroids. I especially remember having those moments with my son Brad ... he was the one of my three who thought it was absolutely hilarious to hide from me and watch while I had a meltdown when I couldn't find him. He was also the one who would stand behind me and mirror my every move so that I wouldn't know he was there ... I can't begin to tell you how many times that boy had me running in circles trying to find him while he was right behind me the entire time. Obviously since all three of my children are now all young adults, I somehow always managed to find them ... whether they wandered off or got separated from me or ... ahem, Mr. Bradley ... hid from me, they were never lost for very long.

A few months ago, my granddaughter Coraline ... who is way too smart for her own good and incredibly independent, by the way ... wandered away from her mom and dad in Ikea. Of all the stores to get lost in, I'd have to say Ikea would be one of the worst ... that place is flipping enormous. Thankfully, my wandering, frightened, screaming her eyes out granddaughter was rescued by a kind woman who returned her to my by then terrified son and daughter-in-law. Though I wasn't there, I can only imagine the talking to little Miss Coraline received once Matt and Becca had her safely back in their arms ... I can only imagine because I well recall the stern lectures I gave my own children so many years ago. I'm certain many parents of preschool-age children wonder if their little ones really listen and understand when they try to teach them about the perils of not staying with their parents, but it was during a visit last weekend to the Strathcona Market while I was in Canada that I became completely convinced that Coraline had indeed listened and understood what her parents told her about the dangers of getting lost.

After purchasing some bagels and cream cheese from one of the vendors at the market, Matt and Becca made their way to a table so they could sit down and eat. I'm not a bagel eater, so I told them I was going to peruse the market while they were eating. As I started to walk away from the table, Coraline, who was sitting in a chair already chomping on her bagel, grabbed my hand and said, "Ghee, where are you going?" I replied that I was going to shop a bit while she was eating and that I would be back in a few minutes. Her expression was serious and her beautiful blue eyes were filled with concern as she looked up at me and said, "Ghee, you have a be careful acause if you get wost, you will be verwy scawred." I leaned over and kissed her soft cheek and told her I would be extra, extra careful and that I promised I wouldn't get lost. She gave me one of those "I'm not sure I trust you" looks and repeated her instructions to me, complete with pointing her finger at me to ensure I knew the seriousness of what she was telling me. The look of relief on her little face when I returned to the table after my brief tour of the market was priceless, and the unspoken "It's about time you came back" stare melted my heart as I gathered her into my arms and said, "I found my way back, baby girl ... I found my way back to you."

I know that little exchange between Coraline and I probably seems trivial and unimportant to many of you, but there's a reason I haven't been able to get it off my mind. Here's the thing ... I believe there are times for all of us when we get lost ... when we wander away from the ones who want nothing more than to love and protect us ... when we get separated from our place of safety and warmth ... when we lose sight of who or what is most important to us ... when we get lost in the darkness and fear we may never be able to find our way out. Being lost isn't fun ... for those of you who have ever been lost, you know that's a huge understatement. For me, being lost means being alone ... it means being isolated ... it means being afraid ... it means not being able to trust anyone ... it means not knowing where to go or what to do ... it means doubting myself and everyone else as well. You can trust me when I say getting lost isn't fun ... you can trust me when I say that because I've been lost far more times than I would ever want any of you to ever know.

Coraline may only be three years old, but she gets it ... my little granddaughter totally gets it when it comes to getting lost and being found. She knows that even grown-ups can get lost in the crowd, and she knows that the only way to find them is with steadfast, loyal, unconditional love. Some of the biggest lessons really do come from the most unlikely teachers, friends ... they really do indeed.