Hiding in Plain View

Almost every night when I was in Canada with Matt, Becca and my grandgirls, Coraline insisted that we all make our way to the basement for a family game of hide and seek. Their basement is nice ... really nice ... it's finished and is divided into several rooms, including a large living area, bedroom, bathroom, work room, cold room, laundry room and a couple of closets. There were plenty of great hiding places, unless of course you happened to be the person holding Amelie when she had the hiccups or was in full-blown baby babble mode as you were certain to be found no matter where you hid. It only took a few rounds of hide and seek for me to learn that my sweet daughter-in-law deserved an award for finding the most unique and interesting places to hide ... seriously ... Becca is without question the very best hider in the universe when it comes to playing hide and seek. One night when she and Coraline hid together, Becca managed to convince Coraline to join her in the pitch dark workroom, climb inside a storage container and not make a sound ... getting little miss Coraline to be quiet deserves an award in and of itself. Becca squeezed herself under the work bench and pulled boxes in front of her ... it took Matt, Amelie and I forever to find them, and I'm pretty sure had Coraline not giggled, we would have been forced to give up.

For all the great hiding places Becca came up with, the best one of all was when she hid in plain view of all of us ... we couldn't find her for a really long time even though she was right in front of us the whole time. There's a reason why Ikea is Matt and Becca's favorite store ... they love Ikea because it is filled to running over with all kinds of paraphernalia to help you organize your house. Since Coraline loves to play dress-up and has a plethora of princess dresses and Halloween costumes, Matt and Becca installed some kid-reachable plastic puppy dog tail hooks on one of the walls in the basement. The hooks hold all of the things a little girl needs to dress the part as she embarks on adventures into the land of make-believe ... princess dresses, Halloween costumes and the most important to Becca's ingenious hiding place ... a Santa hat. Yep, Becca simply sat next to wall under the hooks, pulled a couple of costumes in front of her body and donned the Santa hat ... and not one of us could find her even though she was in plain view the entire time. 

I didn't think much about that particular hide and seek experience until earlier today when I watched a short documentary about people who come out of the closet later in life, but now I can't get that one round of our nightly game out of my mind, and even more, I can't get it out of my heart. You know why we couldn't find Becca that evening? We couldn't find her because we weren't looking for her in the brightly lit open space of the living room area in the basement ... we were looking for her where we expected her to hide ... we were looking for her where we thought she should hide. We weren't looking for Becca in the light because we expected, thought and believed she would and should be hiding in the darkness. We couldn't find her even though she was right in front of us ... she was hiding right in front of us, and we didn't see her ... Becca was hiding in plain view, and every single one of us walked right by her. Talk about a life lesson, friends ... go ahead and ponder on that one for a while 

There was a common theme among the people whose stories were chronicled in the documentary I watched today ... every one of them spent decades of their lives hiding in plain view. As I watched and listened, tears rolled down my cheeks as I thought of all the people who write to me, the people who tell me their own stories ... countless people who know all too well about the devastating effects that hiding can have, about the toll it can take, about the damage it can wreak, about the lives it can claim. While the film today was about people who tell the truth about their sexuality later in life ... some in their 70s and 80s, and bless their hearts for finally having the courage to say, "No more hiding" ... it made me think about how so many, many, many people live their lives hiding in plain view. I think we all hide, and I think we hide for all sorts of different reasons ... whether it's our health problems or our financial issues or our marital struggles or our parenting fails or our loneliness or our depression or even our sexuality ... we hide in plain view of one another and pray with all our might that no one ever finds us.

I know I work with people who are hiding in plain view ... I know I go to church with people who are hiding in plain view ... I know I attend events with people who are hiding in plain view ... I know I participate in activities with people who are hiding in plain view ... I know I love people who are hiding in plain view ... and my guess is so do you. But ... but ... but ... knowing and doing are two very different things. Knowing people are sick and taking them to a doctor are two very different things ... knowing people are bankrupt and loaning them money are two very different things ... knowing people are getting divorced and standing beside them in court are two very different things ... knowing people whose kids have run away and walking the streets with them looking for those kids are two very different things ... knowing people are lonely and spending time with them are two very different things ... knowing people are sad and remaining firm in your commitment to stay with them are two very different things ... knowing people are gay and speaking out against hate are two very different things.

Knowing people are hiding and looking for them are two very different things ... knowing and doing are two very different things, friends ... two very different things indeed.