More Than You Know

The company I work for has grown a ton over the last couple of years, and that means only one thing for a downtown-ishly located business ... parking woes. Our company has always provided us with free parking ... very much appreciated, by the way ... so rather than ask the employees to pay for parking, the leadership decided to obtain some additional spots in a parking garage a couple of blocks away. In doing so, their dilemma shifted from there not being enough places to park close to our building to finding a way to fairly distribute the nearby spaces and those in the garage among the employees. After much deliberation, the leadership team came up with a rotation plan ... a person is assigned to one of the three lots for a set period of time after which he or she will be assigned to a different lot. Up until the most recent switching of the parking spots a couple of weeks ago, I've managed to avoid having to park in the garage because several of the young men offered to change places with me So guess where I've been parking following the latest shuffle? Yep ... I'm now hoofing it back and forth to the garage every morning and every evening, and so far, it's not been too bad. It's actually a decent little walk, just far enough that it gets my heart pumping and provides me with an extra bit of exercise for the day.

If you know me at all, you know my brain never stops churning; in fact, I have a really hard time getting to sleep because my mind ... well ... my mind seems to have a mind of its own. There's definitely an upside to having an overactive brain, though ... sometimes I actually come up with a significant thought now and again, and I'm pretty sure I had one last night as I walked to the parking garage after work in the chilly night air. I usually pass several people on my morning and evening jaunts to and from the garage, most of whom are well-dressed with satchels or bags on their shoulders, apparently on their way to or from work themselves. Some say hello or nod their heads in my direction, while others are obviously focused on one thing ... getting wherever it is they're going. Last night, I only passed a couple of people, but one of them caught my attention the minute I saw him. He caught my attention because he looked sad ... very, very sad. His shoulders were slumped and he was walking slowly, staring at the pavement beneath his feet. He looked to be in his late 20s to early 30s ... far too young to be encompassed by such sadness.

I've kicked myself for not speaking to the young man ever since I saw him last night ... I should have at least said hello to him and maybe even wished him a merry Christmas. You see ... I know that "I have no hope left" look ... I know that "I'm struggling to take one more step" posture ... I know that "I'm so terribly lonely" isolation. I should have said hello to the young man ... I should have said hello ... I should have stopped and said hello to the young man. The more I've thought about him today, the more I thought about some Christmas cards and notes I sent or gave to my family and friends. I thought about how many times I wrote the words, "I appreciate you more than you know," or "You mean more to me than you know," or "You help me more than you know" or "I miss you more than you know," or the one that really socked me right in the gut ... "I love you more than you know." It's the words "more than you know" that get to me ... it's those four words that have burned in my mind all day today ... it's those four words that have me kicking myself over and over and over again.

See here's the thing ... I should never ever not let people know how much I appreciate them or how much they mean to me or how much they help me or how much I miss them or how much I love them. I shouldn't wait until Christmas to tell people those things ... the people I love and care about should never ever be left wondering. They should never ever have to hear me say those four words ... more than you know ... because I should make sure they know every single moment of every single day just how very, very important they are to me. I don't believe in accidents or coincidences anymore, friends ... I believe without a trace of any doubt that I was meant to see that young man last night ... I believe our paths crossed, even if only for a brief moment, because I needed to see him. I needed to wonder if he's surrounded by "more than you know" people. I needed to contemplate the very real possibility that his sadness could have been diminished if someone told him how much he matters to them. I needed to see that young man last night because I need to change.

There's another side to "more than you know" ... there are people all around me who are dealing with so much more than I know. People who are struggling with depression or disease ... people whose marriages are in trouble ... people who are taking care of elderly parents ... people who've lost their jobs ... people who are having financial problems ... people whose children are ill ... people who are lonely ... people who are scared ... people who are struggling with so very much more than I know.

Think about it, friends ... more than you know.