One of the best parts about growing up on Ormand Drive in the little town of Red Bank, Tennessee, was that all the kids in the neighborhood got along pretty well ... most of the time ... remember those words "most of the time" ... I'll come back to them in a bit. The kids who lived on my street, the kids who lived on Paulmar and the kids who lived on Daytona ... we'd meet at the crossroads on my street since it was the one in between the other two, and we'd play all day long. We'd pack lunches and carry Army canteens filled with Koolaid ... there were no such things as Nalgene or Camelbak water bottles back then ... and we'd hang out together until the appointed time that our moms had told us we had to come home for dinner.
Things were different back then, you know ... my friends and I weren't afraid of being molested or kidnapped or murdered or of someone stealing the coins we carried in our pockets. We didn't have cell phones or any way to contact our parents if anything happened and yet we played in the woods, waded in the creeks, rode our bikes to the bustling "downtown" part of Red Bank and even hitched rides with total strangers from time to time if we wanted to venture farther than our legs could pedal or our feet could walk. It was a good time and a good place to grow up ... yep, good old Red Bank, Tennessee in the '60s ... a really good time and a really good place to grow up in for sure.
For all the precious things my little granddaughter Coraline says to me ... and yes, everything she says to me is precious ... there's one thing she says that gets to me every single time. It's from one of her favorite books, The Lion King, and it's something Simba says to his father Mufasa. Coraline looks up at me and says, "Ghee? We're pals, right? And we'll always be together, right?" Yep ... chokes me up every single time she says those words, and I never ever tire of seeing those big beautiful blue eyes of hers peering into mine or hearing her angelic little voice as she says them. Maybe it's because of the innocence of her heart or maybe it's because of the pure and unconditional love she has for me, but my little Boo's declaration of us being pals and her insistence that we'll always be together reminds me every time of just how important it is to build honest and lasting relationships with the people I love and care about.
I've been thinking a lot recently about what it means to be pals ... about what it means to be a good pal to my family and friends. And in doing so, I recalled something that happened many, many years ago ... something I haven't thought about for a very, very long time. If you had asked me when I was a kid about my neighborhood friends, I would have quickly told you that we were pals ... I wouldn't have hesitated for one moment to describe our relationship as that of being pals. Well ... except for that one girl ... that one girl I thought was my pal until she threw sand in my eyes. I believed her when she said it was an accident the first time she did it ... heck, I even believed her the next time and the next time and the next time and the next time she threw sand in my eyes. She would throw sand in my eyes and not talk to me for a week, and then she'd come back and act all nicey-nice to me for a while until she got me to relax and trust her again. And then ... yep, you guessed it ... then she'd throw sand in my eyes again. I wanted so desperately to believe she was my pal ... I wanted so desperately to believe she was my pal, my buddy, my friend. Until one day I had just had too much sand thrown into my eyes ... until one day I couldn't believe anymore and I had no choice but to walk away. For my own self-protection ... for my own sense of self-worth ... for my own inability to be hurt anymore ... I had no choice but to admit that she wasn't really my pal.
Now here's the thing ... with every fiber in my being, I want to be the best pal I can possibly be to my granddaughters Coraline and Amelie. I want to be the best pal I can possibly be to my children, to my family, to my friends. Pals are there when things are going great, and they are there when the world is caving in around you. Pals don't lie to you and they don't take you for granted. Pals look out for you and they want only the best for you. Pals treasure you and they share with you and they want to spend time with you. Pals don't give up on you and they always have your back. Pals protect you and they believe in you. Pals are interested in what's going on in your life and they take the time to ask ... and then they truly listen. Pals laugh with you and they cry with you. Pals care about what's important to you and they make sure you know they care. Pals remember your birthday and they know how old you are. Pals don't abandon you and they defend you no matter what. And ... pay attention to this part because it's super important ... pals ... not the fake pals but the real, true, honest pals ... never, never, never throw sand in your eyes ... never, never, never.
"Ghee? We're pals, right? And will always be together, right?"
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