Slice and Dice

Remember a couple of posts ago when I wrote about the spring on my garage door breaking? Well, I eventually wrote about the broken spring anyway after I let my mind go wandering down memory lane and bawling my eyes out first. Don't worry, no jaunts back in time tonight and no tears ... not hardly. Tonight I'm just plain old ticked off because of how badly I suck at home repair. I seriously cannot think of one broken thing I've been able to fix on my own ... oh, wait, I guess I did fix the wheel on the lawnmower last summer. And yes, I can say it's fixed even though I pretty much have to tighten it every time I mow the yard ... okay, okay ... I have to tighten it a couple of times every time I mow, but it hasn't fallen off again so that qualifies it as being fixed. But alas, other than my stellar repair job on the lawnmower wheel, I usually do more harm than good when I attempt any type of home repair. Which leads me to the topic for tonight's post ... the leaky faucet in my tub.

Now I know you're wondering what in the world a leaking faucet could possibly have to do with slicing and dicing, but trust me, it has a whole heck of a lot to do with it. I should probably back up and tell you that the faucet has been leaking for ... ummm ... let's just say "a while," and it's gradually gotten worse. It's not like pouring water or anything like that, but it has gone from a drip every few minutes to a drip every few seconds. Even though the faucet has been leaking for "a while," I haven't been super concerned or worried about it ... until this morning. For some insane reason, I woke up this morning thinking that I had to fix the faucet or my house was going to flood ... today. Remember the night I was convinced the little crack in the basement floor was going to cause my gas furnace to explode? 'Nuff said.

I had a couple of appointments this morning but as soon as I was finished, I headed to the nearest Home Depot in search of a new handle to put on the pipe thingie that sticks out of the wall behind the tile in the shower. I bought one that said "universal" on the package, meaning it would fit on any type of pipe thingie (which, by the way, isn't true). Want to know something else that isn't true? That you can pop the plastic cover thingie off of the old shower handle with a screwdriver. I tried four different screwdrivers and couldn't get the dumb thing to budge. So I did what all great home repair people do ... I went to the toolbox and got a utility knife. I actually took two knives back to the bathroom with me because of my frustrating experience with the screwdrivers, a utility knife and some sort of Samurai-looking knife that Brad left here when he moved to Maine. 

Ollie pretty much follows me wherever I go when I'm at home, and today was no exception as he trotted into the bathroom right behind me and sat on the rug peering up at me and wagging his tail.

"I know what you're wagging about, wiener," I said. "You're wagging because you think it's hilarious that I'm trying to fix this stupid faucet, aren't you? Well, you just watch me, wiener boy," I said as I turned toward the handle and wedged Brad's Samurai knife under the plastic cover thingie. "As long as I don't slice my hand open, it's all ..." I'm not about to tell you what I said when the super-sharp Samurai blade popped the plastic cover off ... and then kept moving right along into the side of my thumb. It's amazing how quickly I went from worrying that a drip was going to flood my house and how much a plumber would charge me to worrying about whether or not I needed stitches and how much the doctor would charge me. And Ollie? Well, he quit wagging his tail and starting whining and jumping up on my legs as I stuck my bleeding thumb under the water so I could see how deep the cut was. You know the old saying, "You learn something new every day"? Well, I learned two in one fell swoop today: 1) I need to find a cheap plumber to fix my leaky faucet, and 2) some cuts can be glued instead of stitched.

I'll leave you tonight with one more thought ... something that occurred to me while the doctor was putting the glue on my thumb. It only took a millisecond for that knife to go from doing what I wanted it to do ... help me fix the leak ... to hurting me. Now change the word "knife" to the word "words" ... slicing and dicing should only be for veggies, friends, not for thumbs and not for the way we speak to others. Go ahead ... think on that one for a while, and then send me a note or leave a comment with your thoughts. Remember to be kind to one another ... remember that your words can help or they can hurt. You can choose to slice and dice, or you can choose to be nice ... think about it.