That Face

Remember that one time you were sitting at your desk on a Wednesday morning working away and you hear someone say your name and you turn around and it's your son who lives in Maine who you didn't think you were going to see until Thursday evening because you knew he was filming at a hospital in a little town about 20 miles away and when you turn around and see him you hug the living daylights out of him for a really long time and he hugs the living daylights out of you, too, and you try really hard not to cry but you do anyway and you don't give a crap who sees you? Oh wait ... that wasn't you, that was me and all of that happened today. True story.

For those of you who are empty-nesters, and particularly those of you whose adult kiddos live far away from you, my guess is you completely understand the feeling that swept through me when I turned around in my chair this morning and saw my Brad's face. And I'd bet my last penny that you totally get it when I tell you that my first thought was, "He's home." And though I'm certain it goes without saying, that thought was followed closely by the next one ... "That face ... I miss that face so much."

As Brad visited with some of the folks in my office, I couldn't help but notice how at ease he was and that he had a new sense of confidence about him. My mind swirled as the thoughts rolled in ... "Look at him smile ... he has such a beautiful smile" ... "He's matured so much in the last year," ... "I'm so proud of the man he's become," ... "That face ... I miss that face so very much," ... "God have mercy on my soul ... do not let me cry in front of the co-CEOs and the managing partner and the vice president," ... "Remember when he wore a fireman costume for like three years?" ... "Where has all the time gone?" ... "Look at him smile," ... "Look at that face," ... "Look at his heart," ... "Look at my son," ... "God, oh God, please don't let me cry in front of Ali and JJ and Rand and Jim ... please God ... just this once, please don't let me cry."

Brad's visit this morning was a short one because he needed to get to his shoot, but we'll have some quality time together over the weekend before he heads back to Maine on Monday. For as long as I hugged him when I first saw him this morning, I hugged him equally as long when he left my office. As I watched him walk down the stairs, another thought came crashing into my mind ... one I can't shake ... one I think may hang around for a while ... one I hope will make me appreciate more deeply the moments I have with my children, my grandchildren, my extended family and my friends. "You don't know what you have until it's gone."

That face, my friends ... that face.