For as long as I can remember, I've been just a touch on the weird side when it comes to food. There are certain foods, such as beets or Brussels sprouts, that, in my opinion, should be banished from all dinner tables for all time. There are certain foods, such as candy corn and caramel apples, that, again in my opinion, should earn their rightful place as part of the necessary daily requirements for healthy living ... except that now I can't eat either of those wonderful creations ... bummer, dude.
People who have had occasion to share a meal with me have graciously drawn attention to another of my food oddities in that I tend to be a little ... OK, I'm a whole lot ... ritualistic in my method of consuming food. I don't like the different items on my plate to touch each other; I eat the foods individually, meaning I eat all the broccoli, then all the squash, then all the meat; and I save my favorite item until the end of my meal, even if that means I have to pick all the shrimp out of my salad and set it to the side.
Food has taken on a whole new meaning to me, or lack of meaning, I suppose, since I was diagnosed with diabetes almost a year ago. Now I eat to live rather than live to eat. It's funny to me that though I have to think about food and eating all the time now, food doesn't bring me anywhere near as much joy as it previously did, except for two delicious combinations ... combos that I look forward to every day - lime jello with strawberries sliced on top and sugar-free pudding with Cool Whip. And the whole ritualistic eating thing? Yep, definitely applies to both of the aforementioned items ... every bite of jello has exactly two slices of strawberries with it; and the Cool Whip goes on the spoon first and then the pudding, in perfectly symmetrical proportions, of course.
Yesterday I realized that God has changed me over the last year in ways that I didn't even imagine, and that recognition came last night, from all places ... my Cool Whip. When I went to get my nightly snack and opened the Cool Whip container, I laughed and laughed and laughed. In fact, I laughed until I cried ... even the dogs came to the kitchen to see if I had gone off the deep end. You see, I have a way that I scoop my Cool Whip out of the container ... I know exactly how much to scoop to make it match my pudding serving, and I scoop it very uniformly ... always, always, always from the side of the container while being very careful to leave a nice edge on the remaining Whip for the next evening. I never, never, never scoop my Cool Whip from the middle in a random, willy nilly kind of way. And yet, there it was ... a giant hole right in the center of my Cool Whip ... shouting to me that my sweet friend who often cares for me and feeds me when my blood sugar drops had been in my Cool Whip that morning when she came to help me.
Early on in our friendship, I mentioned my Cool Whip weirdness to my friend, thinking she would realize what a true benefit it could be to her if she would model her Cool Whip scooping skills to match mine. Her reply? "You are crazy, and I am so going to mess with you on this every time I feed you Cool Whip. Every time." And being gut honest ... it drove me crazy in the beginning ... to the point that I would spend a lot of time smoothing out my beloved Cool Whip when I next opened the container.
My big Cool Whip realization last night? I've had to learn to let go of a lot of things over the last months ... my pride, my strong will, my independence to a certain degree, and I've fought the surrendering of each of those with everything I had in me. But when I opened my Cool Whip last night, it hit me ... what I have gained far surpasses what I've lost or given up. I've gained a much deeper and sweeter relationship with my Lord; I've gained a new appreciation for the need to ask for help at times; and I've gained friends who are honest and real and true.
And how can I be so sure that God has changed me? Well, the proof is in the pudding ... or in my case, the Cool Whip. Last night, when I stopped laughing, I grabbed a spoon and scooped out my Cool Whip for my pudding ... right from the middle, in great random and willy nilly style ... and then I snapped the lid on and put it back in the fridge. And then ... then I bowed my head and said a prayer out loud thanking God for my Cool Whip lesson ... and my precious Cool Whip friend.
2 comments:
I would be messing with you too! No wonder she is so wonderful and easy to love!
ok first of all, that is way ocd on the cool whip. sounds like we've been learning alot of the same things the past year or so...now my problem is making the tremendous cool whip revelation STICK. :) how do you avoid cool whip regression???? oh and btw, my coreo hates cool whip. with a passion. :)
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