Friday, December 31, 2010

Starting Over

The older I get, the more I wonder where time goes. Or has gone. Or will go in the future. I remember when I was young, it seemed that I would never be old enough to drive. Or get married. Or have my own house. Now that I either can do, have done or currently am doing, I often don't want to. Or regret that I did. Or think that I should sell it. Funny ... the more I wonder where time goes, or has gone, or will go in the future, the more I think that I should make some changes. Or undo some things. Or start something new.

As this year winds to a close, I can't help but reflect on the last year and wonder what the next one holds in store. It would be easy to focus on the rough spots of the last year, and trust me, there were plenty of them. My health for a good part of the year felt like trying to ride a surfboard in the middle of a hurricane. I spent months in the desert in my walk of faith. And I lost my little J.R. It would be so very easy to see last year as one of the most difficult of my 51 years of life.

But ... but ... but ... my blood sugar, cholesterol and triglycerides are well within normal range for the first time in a decade, and I've lost over 100 pounds. God was with me through the desert even when I didn't think He was, and He's deepened my faith and humbled me in ways I never imagined. And little J.R. ... though I am still grieving his loss, the joy and blessings he brought into my life will stay in my heart forever.

My prayer as a new year begins is that I will embrace the opportunities God gives me to begin again ... to pursue dreams and chase rainbows ... to make the most of every single moment ... to love with all my heart ... to serve others with true abandon ... to live each day with gratitude ... to follow Him completely ... to put the past where it belongs ... to start over.

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