Bazinga

There are few television shows now that will make me sit on the couch for hours and watch them. I used to be a big TV hound, but not so much anymore ... unless of course there are storms in the forecast and then I'm glued to the set ... of course. In fact, I rarely turn on the television in the evenings; instead I read a lot, write a lot and play with my dogs a lot. But there is one show that I will always watch if I'm home and it's on, and it's probably going to surprise some of you, especially when I tell you who my favorite character on the show is ... or then again, maybe not. I love the show The Big Bang Theory, and I adore Sheldon Cooper. No matter how lousy my day has been or how down I am, Sheldon can always make me at least smile, and more often than not, laugh out loud. Though I can't even come remotely close to understanding Sheldon's genius intelligence, I can, however, completely relate to some of Sheldon's quirky behaviors ... eating certain foods on certain days; having irrational fears; possessing more than a touch of obsessive compulsiveness; being as stubborn as a mule; needing to be cared for when he's sick; wearing only specific types of clothing ... hmmm, that list should probably scare me a little ... or a lot. Sheldon is an odd duck, an enigma of sorts, and maybe that's why I like him so much.

On Wednesday, my doctor made some changes to my medication, and for the last couple of days my stomach has felt like I've been on a heavy-duty roller coaster ride. Yesterday was especially rough in the tummy department, so I left work at noon and came home and went to bed for the afternoon. As I was driving home, I came up behind a pickup truck pulling an old, open-air, beat up trailer with a horse inside. I groaned as the interstate traffic came to a stop due to construction ... seriously, there should be a law against narrowing interstate traffic down to one lane on a day when my stomach hurt so badly. Sitting behind the trailer with the horse inside, my mind shifted into Sheldon mode and I started thinking ... what if that horse decided to poop right now? He was a big horse, and it looked like it was a tight fit for him in the little trailer. In fact, his tail was hanging down over the back gate right in front of my car ... he so could have pooped right over the gate. The mere thought of horse poop splatting on my car sure didn't do much for my already upset stomach, but my mind raced there like a speeding bullet anyway. I was surer than sure that the horse was going to poop ... don't laugh ... I could see it in his ... well, his rear, I suppose, since I couldn't see his eyes. I leaned forward and tried to calculate the distance between my car and the horse's rear, wishing I hadn't pulled quite so close to the trailer. Thankfully, the traffic started moving, the lanes opened and I was able to drive around the truck before a horse poop disaster occurred.

Now here's where my true Sheldon came out yesterday ... as the evening wore on and I felt worse and worse, I couldn't get my mind off of the horse in the trailer. Those of you who've been reading along with me for a while know that I work for an advertising agency and that one of our clients is an animal health company. You know that I spend a good part of my time at work reading about horse and cow poop ... more specifically, I read a lot about the parasites that are in that poop. So by the time I went to bed last night, I had come to the conclusion that if that horse yesterday had decided to poop on my car, that poop would by all means have contained parasites which would have somehow managed to survive their fall onto the hood of my car, made their way through the windshield and eventually infected me. Makes my irrational fear of cracks in the basement, flying on an airplane and stormy weather seem almost sane and rational, huh? When I woke up this morning, I must admit that I shook my head at myself ... seriously ... a horse pooping on my car and me getting infected with parasites? Seriously, seriously, seriously. Maybe my next post needs to be about my newly hatched plan for surviving the zombie apocalypse that's most assuredly coming one day ... bazinga, Sheldon fans ... bazinga.