Silver and Gold

Here's the thing about coming home ... it reminds me where I came from, and it causes me to contemplate where I'm going. It makes me search my soul and consider what things truly are important in life ... God, family, friends, love. It demands that I unplug from the cares of life for a time, even if that time is so very short. It quietly asks me to silence the battle within my heart ... to soothe the wounds within my soul ... to step out of the darkness within my mind. Coming home wraps me in its arms and says when nothing else in my life does ... "Good to see you, Terrie ... so very good to see you."

I'm sure many of you have heard or read the following words ... "Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver, and the other gold." Tonight, I had dinner with two great gals, one a relatively new friend that I met three years ago when I came home, the other a friend I've known for more than 30 years. We dined at a beautiful Italian restaurant near the Tennessee River, and the food was wonderful. It was the conversation, however, that was the centerpiece of the evening ... conversation that was gentle, easy, familiar and warm. I've found myself deep in thought for the remainder of the night, very much aware of the significance that lies within new friendships and the grounding that comes with old ones. Truly, silver and gold.

The more that memories have crashed through my mind throughout the day today and the evening tonight, the more I have felt that there is something important about coming home this time ... that there is something I am to learn ... to seek ... to absorb. Perhaps more than any other trip I've made in the more than 25 years since I've moved away, I feel a sense of urgency ... a desire to make the most of every moment ... to soak in every smile, to hold each hug a little longer, to linger in the overwhelming love and acceptance I receive when I am here. Acceptance ... that's a big concept for me ... to feel accepted and wanted and loved ... by God, by others, by myself.

Though I'd like to tell those of you who have been concerned about me since my sob-filled Thursday that I haven't shed any more tears, that would be far, far, far from the truth. Today, I fought to hold it together ... I fought so hard against the tears ... and still they came. One overriding chant from Thursday was, "I don't want my family to see me this way." Tonight, my old friend looked deeply into my eyes and I knew ... I knew that she could see the pain, that she could sense the toll the last couple of years has taken on me. And tomorrow when I see all of my family, I know they will see as well. They will look into my eyes, and they will see.

Yep, this time, coming home is important ... this time, coming home means more than it ever has before ... this time, coming home is about silver ... it's about gold ... it's about love.