The Three Hardest Words

For all the things I don't like about the weekends these days, there's one really special thing I actually look forward to ... Skyping with my son, daughter-in-law and granddaughters who live in Canada. When my phone rings and I hear my precious little C.J.'s voice say, "Ghee, you wanna Skype now?" ... gosh, those are the sweetest words ever. I've said it before, but I really don't know that I could survive if I couldn't see her cute face pop up on the screen each week. Sometimes I miss her so much it hurts, and though I wish I could hold her in my arms, Skyping with her at least makes me feel closer to her and like I'm part of her little world. So far, she's not too keen on letting me talk to her new baby sister much ... suffice it to say that C.J. saying "Ghee's my Ghee" coupled with moving the laptop away from her sister has happened more than a time or two since Amelie joined her family.

Whether I'm reading them at work, writing them at home or speaking them to others, words are quite literally my life. Okay, maybe that's a touch melodramatic, but it's completely true that words are my livelihood ... I get paid to make sure that words are spelled correctly and used in the correct context. Sometimes I wonder just how many words I read throughout the course of one workweek ... I'm sure the number would be staggering if I actually devised a way to keep count. Add to all the words I read each day all the words I write each evening and ... well ... you get the picture ... most of my waking hours are spent thinking about words. And occasionally, as you well know if you've been reading along with me for a while, I get sort of stuck ... more like consumed, some would say ... with learning all I can about a certain word or combination of words. Like a couple of nights ago, for example, when I spent several hours reading about the words that are generally considered to be the most difficult for people to speak or write.

I must admit that I was surprised by the phrase that claimed the top spot in the "most difficult words for people to say" category, but the more I've thought about it, the more I think I agree with the researchers' conclusions. The truth is that I was pretty sure I knew the answer to my quest ... I was almost positive the hardest words for folks to say are "I am sorry," followed closely by "Please forgive me." Since I consider myself a relative genius when it comes to words, you can only imagine my shock and dismay when I discovered I was wrong ... seriously, me wrong about words? How in the name of all things good and holy could that ever happen? But alas, not only was I wrong, I wasn't even close in my assumption. But as I said, the more I've pondered and stewed on the findings of the studies, the more I agree with them ... and, I might add, the more I know I was wrong.

The three hardest words for people to say? "I need help." As surprising as it was to me to learn that a huge percentage of folks struggle to say "I need help," it was even more surprising to learn that the reason for needing help had very little to do with the difficulty people have with asking for help. So many of us view asking for help as a sign of weakness or as a lack of knowledge ... we think that strong, smart people don't need help and that they can (and should) handle anything and everything on their own. Or we don't want to burden others ... or we fear being rejected ... or we believe we aren't worthy of receiving help ... or we think we'll be judged ... or for so many other reasons. There's something all the reasons we offer up for not asking for help have in common, you know ... they all stem from fear.

I've been thinking about what I wanted to say in this post for a couple of days, and more specifically, I've thought an awful lot about how I wanted to close this evening. Last year on August 30th, I wrote a joint post with two friends who have helped me more than you could ever imagine. And for the hundreds of you who've been begging for another combined post from the three of us, you'll be thrilled to know that I'll be posting that much-requested entry on Saturday. I'm pretty certain that my two friends would tell you in a heartbeat that I hate asking for help ... for pretty much all the reasons I listed above, along with a few hundred more that lurk in the murky recesses of my mind. But ... but ... but ... I hope with every ounce of hope I have in me that I'm learning to change ... I hope I'm growing less afraid to say "I need help" and more afraid of the outcome if I don't ... I hope I'm coming to understand that asking for help isn't about weakness at all, friends, but about strength. 

Come on, say it with me ... "I need help." See ... that wasn't so hard now, was it?

P.S. Happy National Bow Tie Day!