Baby Fresh

When my mom was 85, she decided to sell the house she had lived in for 47 years ... the house I grew up in ... and move to Kansas City to live near me and my children. My brother hired a man to drive a U-Haul truck with Mom's possessions, and it arrived a couple of days before Mom did. One of my most vivid memories of the process of setting up Mom's apartment is scent related ... I will never forget the emotion that washed over me when the guys from our church raised the door of the truck and I breathed in the smell of Mom. As we unpacked all of her things and filled her little apartment, I cried a lot as my kids and I talked about how quickly the three small rooms began to smell like Granny's house. The space that would soon be Mom's new home became Mom even before she stepped through the door ... the apartment was filled to the brim with the scent and the essence of Mom.

Last Saturday, Ollie the wiener dog and I left our house early in the morning and headed out to Matt and Becca's so that I could spend the day with them. OK ... that's completely not true ... I went to Manhattan to spend the day with C.J. Yes, Matt and Becca were there, but I went to see my granddaughter. I haven't spent much time with her, which was evidenced when Becca put her in my arms when I arrived ... I turned her around so that I could talk to her, and her little lip began to quiver and then she screamed like her little heart was breaking. She eventually calmed down and even smiled at me a time or two later in the day. She snuggled on my shoulder and took a nap, and I gave her a bottle when she woke up.

We all went for a walk in the afternoon sun ... C.J. in her stroller with Becca pushing her; Matt walking their two wiener dogs, Andy and Chloe; and me bringing up the rear with my overweight (according to Matt and Becca) wiener dog, Ollie. We were quite a sight as we paraded across the K-State campus, and we received more than a few comments from intoxicated students adorned with green t-shirts who were celebrating what is known in the little town as "Fake Patty's Day" ... a celebration that is held each year the weekend prior to St. Patrick's Day before the students head out of town for Spring Break. I've never before in my life seen so many drunk college kids in one place, and I found myself being grateful that Matt and Becca never participated in the raucous event when they were in college.

I didn't notice it several weeks ago when I visited their apartment after C.J. was born, but the minute I set foot in their home this time, I realized that there is a new aroma that wafts throughout their living quarters. Their place no longer smells like Matt and Becca and Andy and Chloe ... their place now smells like a baby ... their place smells like little C.J., and it's the most wonderful scent ever. I'm sure there's some massive scientific explanation as to what makes babies smell so good, but all I know is that she ... smells ... completely ... and ... totally ... awesome. From the top of her little baby hair down to the ends of her little baby toes, C.J. smells like a baby and now, so does the home she shares with her mom and dad and wiener dog buddies.

I'm not sure why, but it's getting more and more difficult to say goodbye whenever I part with any of my children ... perhaps because I have more of a sense now of just how quickly life as I know it can change, perhaps because I've glimpsed my own mortality over the last couple of years, perhaps because my children are adults and one of them has a child of his own. I want to hold on to every moment I have with them, and as I drove home from Matt and Becca's last Saturday, I found myself wishing that the sweet baby scent of C.J. that lingered on my shirt from where I had held her would stay with me forever. I can't help but think about the lyrics to a song from the Christmas Eve service at church ... a baby changes everything ... a baby changes everything.