Perhaps one of the most iconic movie scenes of the 1980s is the one that featured Tom Cruise, clad only in white socks, tighty whitey underwear, white dress shirt and sunglasses, dancing to the strains of Bob Seger's "Old Time Rock and Roll" in the film Risky Business. The storyline of the movie involves Mr. Cruise's character (a high school student) getting into more than a bit of trouble when he is left alone at home while his parents are away traveling. To say that he participates in a big old chunk of risky behavior during his time without parental supervision would be a grand understatement, and suffice it to say that the storyline of the film certainly would not qualify it as a family-friendly movie by any means.
I've never been much of a risk taker, I suppose, outside of my raucous college years. Oh, but wait, I did recently post an entry that talked about my night spent in the Red Bank slammer, and there was that time I dangled over eight lanes of traffic to spray paint the overpass ... OK, so other than those times, I've pretty much always been a cautious, just maintain the status quo, play it safe, don't rock the boat kind of gal. No swimming way out in the ocean or skydiving or playing golf during a thunderstorm for me ... no, no, no. I've always stayed close to shore, kept my feet on the ground and hunkered down in the basement with a mattress over my head. I suppose I thought that taking risks was for folks who had nothing to lose, folks who had no fear, folks who were thrilled with danger. At least that's who I used to be and what I used to think anyway.
Maybe it's a side effect of growing older, missing my youth and deep psychological stuff like that ... or maybe it's more simple and related to the medications the doctors have me taking ... or maybe it's super complicated and is connected to the deep, dark mystery that is depression, but my inhibitions and fear of taking risks seem to have gone by the wayside over the last couple of weeks. I've said and done things that I would never have dreamed of saying or doing a month ago. Seriously ... when I mentioned a couple of them to my new doctor, she raised her eyebrows ... no, really, she raised her eyebrows, friends. I've been seeing her long enough to know that it's serious stuff when she raises her eyebrows.
I can't decide just yet whether saying and doing risky things is good or bad ... I guess it depends on what those risks involve and if they fall within the way I am commanded to live according to God's Word. One thing I have become acutely aware of during this season of my life is that people have a multitude of differing opinions when it comes to what is honest or deceptive, right or wrong, godly or sinful, healthy or destructive, controllable or random, chemical or willful ... and honestly, many times I don't know whose thinking is correct and whose is false. For all the things I don't know, however, one thing I do know for certain. The risky business of life is impossible to survive without a personal relationship with God ... at the end of the day, it's between me and Him ... it's His will, His Word and His way ... at the end of the day, He sees my heart ... He knows my mind ... He watches my every move ... He hears my soul. At the end of the day, it really is just between me and Him.
"O Timothy, guard what has been entrusted to you, avoiding worldly and empty chatter and the opposing arguments of what is falsely called 'knowledge' -- which some have professed and thus gone astray from the faith." 1 Timothy 6:20-21
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