Dirty Words

Someone asked me recently if I had kept a count of how many events I've spoken at over the last decade, and my answer was a quick, "Nope." She then promptly told me that I should have kept a record of where my speaking engagements were, what type of group it was, what subjects my topics addressed, and so on. The more I've thought about her comments, the more I think she's correct ... I should have kept a journal about my speaking adventures, and from here on out, I'm going to do just that. One of the coolest things about being a speaker for various women's events is that I often get the opportunity to hear other speakers, whether it's through sharing the responsibilities of speaking for the main events or I get the chance to sit in on workshops that others are leading. I've heard some phenomenal speakers, men and women who are truly gifted orators. 

Former Secretary of Defense Robert Gates gave the commencement address at Matt's Ph.D. graduation ceremony last week, and while his entire speech was well-delivered and filled with wonderful advice for the graduating master's and doctoral students, one statement he made struck me in a big way. I can't recall the context of the words that made such an impression on me, but I haven't been able to get what he said off of my mind. "The words compromise and sacrifice have become dirty words in today's world." If you take some time and think about them, I think you will agree with me that those are powerful words, words that in and of themselves imply action and change. The more I've thought about Mr. Gates' statement, the more I've found myself wondering which of the two is most difficult ... to compromise or to sacrifice ... and the truth is that I'm just not sure. I've also found myself wondering why he chose to link those two words together ... compromise and sacrifice, so of course I went to the dictionary to check out their meanings. Compromise ... to solve a problem or end an argument by agreeing that you can't have everything you want. Sacrifice ... to give up something valuable or important for the greater good of another. Here's the thing that strikes me as I've pondered those definitions ... compromising and sacrificing both involve giving of oneself ... giving of oneself in situations and circumstances when human nature would make a person want to do just the opposite. In our often me-oriented world, Mr. Gates is correct in saying that those are dirty words, dirty words indeed.

I think there are a lot of words that could be placed on the dirty words list ... words like loyalty, faithfulness, honesty, compassion ... words that also invoke the necessity of giving of oneself, of putting the needs of others before my own. The more I think about it, the more profound I believe the words of Mr. Gates truly were. And the more I try to wrap my arms around his statement, the more I know that I'm going to be chewing on those words for a while to come ... compromise and sacrifice ... I'm going to be contemplating whether I treat them as dirty words or whether I embrace the still, small voice deep within my soul that says, "Give, give, give ... and then give some more."

Yep, I'm gonna chew on them for a while ... "The words compromise and sacrifice have become dirty words in today's world."