No intro story tonight because I'm pooped and going to bed early, but I want to share a lesson God taught me today. Actually, I think it may be an ongoing lesson ... you know the kind I'm talking about ... lessons God knows I need to learn again and again and again because I usually don't get it the first or second or third time He tries to teach me.
I left my house early this morning to go for a bike ride ... it was beautiful out, nice and cool, and not a cloud in the sky, the perfect day for a long ride. I rode and rode and rode, listening to John Denver on my iPod and being surprised that there were so many people on the trail so early ... guess they had the same idea that I did, the day was too beautiful not to be outside surrounded by nature. The farther I rode, the more I thought, I should probably turn around now; I'm a really long way from home ... I should probably turn around. And the more that thought crossed my mind, the more I kept pedaling. When I finally did stop to head back toward home, I looked at my watch and realized that I had been riding for almost an hour ... which meant I had to ride an hour back. I pulled over to the side of the trail, leaned my bike against a tree and sat in the grass to eat a snack and take a drink.
After I got home from my two-hour ride, I took Ollie for a short walk, played ball with Julie and then worked in my yard for most of the afternoon. I finally took a shower about 4:00, rested for a while, cooked dinner and made myself eat. Those of you who read my post last night know that weekends aren't easy for me, and when I sat down on the couch after I ate, I knew that I needed to do something ... something to fight the "I'm alone on another Saturday night" feeling that was washing through my heart. Ollie didn't want to walk with me, and I didn't want to drag him along on the trail, so I decided I would go for a short bike ride ... just along the part of the trail where I usually walk, the part of the trail that is more out in the open and not deep in the woods. It isn't often that I get spooked about being out on the trail by myself, but every once in a while, something or someone will frighten me and make me think about the fact that I'm all alone ... on a trail, deep in the woods, and no one knows I'm there. For the most part, though, I don't worry about something happening to me while I'm out walking or biking ... if I bite the bullet on the trail ... well, that's just about my favorite place in the world, so I can't think of a better place to be if that happens.
I had already ridden my normal walking route and was about to turn around and ride it again when I ran into a friend and her daughter on their bikes. I joined them and we rode together along the same route I had just ridden, talking as we pedaled leisurely along the trail. I mentioned to the little girl that I had gone for a long ride this morning, telling her the name of the street where I stopped. She asked me how far that was, and I said I wasn't sure and asked my friend if she knew how far it was. She didn't miss a beat as she said, "I don't know, but too far for you to go alone." I made the "blah, blah, blah" motion with my hand and changed the subject, but I couldn't get her comment off of my mind and I've thought about it all evening. Here's the thing ... she didn't know it, but God had a huge lesson for me in her words ... a lesson that has nothing at all to do with riding my bike too far into the woods by myself, a lesson that has everything to do with walking too far in life by myself ... by walking too far alone in life without Him.
So many times, Father ... so many times, I go too far alone. So many times, my sin separates me from You ... so many times, I go too far alone. So many times, Lord, I doubt the depth of Your forgiveness ... so many times, I go too far alone. So many times, I can't see Your plan for me ... so many times, I go too far alone. So many times, God, I don't understand why You still love me ... so many times, I go too far alone.
"Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:5-7
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