Smokey Bear and Snoopy

Gatlinburg, Tennessee, is a quaint little town near the entrance to Great Smoky Mountains National Park. It's filled with shops, restaurants, hotels and log cabins, and even a ski resort (though if you've ever been skiing in Colorado, it's more like skiing a hill than a mountain ... but great fun nonetheless). I've visited Gatlinburg many times in my life, and Brad, Meghann and I spent a few days there over Thanksgiving the year my mom passed away. While several of my Gatlinburg trips contain sweet memories for me, there is one in particular that holds a very special place in my heart. I was young, maybe seven or eight years old, when Mom and Dad and I went there for a weekend. Kids being kids, I begged and begged for every toy I saw, and was thrilled when Daddy finally consented to buy me a stuffed, plush, furry Smokey Bear. From that day forward, Smokey slept in bed with me, rode in the car with me, sat in a chair at the dinner table next to me ... for ... a ... lot ... of ... years. I loved Smokey, so much that when he became worn and threadbare, Mom sewed patches on him for me. Go ahead and laugh or make fun of me ... I slept with that Smokey Bear until I was in college ... OK ... until I was a senior in college.

I think it was when I was in junior high or maybe early high school that I developed an affinity for the Peanuts comic strip, and in particular, I was crazy about the dog Snoopy. In an attempt to get me to part with my ratty, worn-out, dingy Smokey Bear, Mom bought me a stuffed Snoopy ... obviously since I was still snuggling with Smokey when I was in college, her plan didn't pan out. Oh, don't get me wrong ... I loved the stuffed Snoopy a ton, and quickly added him into my nightly sleeping routine. For the life of me, I can't remember whatever happened to Smokey and Snoopy, but I'm assuming that Mom eventually tossed them into the trash. Mom didn't have much of a sentimental streak when it came to possessions, unlike me who still has boxes of stuff in the basement from when my kids were young.

I'm not sure why, but I started thinking about Smokey Bear and Snoopy as I drove home from lunch with my kiddos on Thursday ... our last time together as a family before Matt left for Canada yesterday. Perhaps it was because I was longing for something to comfort my aching heart; perhaps it was because I was wishing I could turn back time; perhaps it was because I was thinking about Mom; perhaps it was because I was remembering the times that I would cuddle my Smokey Bear and Snoopy and cry myself to sleep. We had a great time together, by the way, my children and I. The food was delicious, and the fellowship was sweet. We did some shopping and had some tasty frozen yogurt (no sugar added blueberry for me). I gave C.J. lots and lots of Granny kisses on her cute little cheeks and told her how much I'm going to miss her. And yes, I cried big time when the time came to hug Matt and say goodbye.

I had appointments with both of my doctors on Thursday morning before I went to meet my kids ...  and yes, I know the doctors planned those appointments deliberately to help me get through the day. The second doctor said something that struck a chord deep within me ... some things in life are big, especially when you're a mother ... today, you don't have to be strong ... today, you can cry all the tears you need to cry ... today is one of the big things in life. I sobbed at both of those appointments, by the way, which is probably why I was able to hold it together for most of the time I was with my children ... until the goodbyes, of course, and then the floodgates opened. I've thought again today about her words ... some things in life are big ... and I've realized something. Even if I still had them, Smokey Bear and Snoopy wouldn't comfort me the way they did when I was young ... back then, I hadn't experienced very many of life's big things. It was easy to seek refuge and solace in my room with my head buried under the covers, holding tightly to my favorite stuffed animals.

Life is way more complicated now than when I was young, and it's filled to the brim with big things. And now more than ever, I know there's only one place to find refuge and solace ... only one place to bury my heart and soul ... only One to hold tightly, One to go to for comfort, One in whom to place my trust.

Thank You, Father, for always being with me ... for Your comfort ... for Your love ... for Your grace ... for Your mercy ... for Your protection ... for Your forgiveness. Thank You for being with me in the big things of life ... the great big things of life.