Sometimes I wonder how many hours of my life I've spent at softball and baseball fields, both when I played and when I watched the games of all three of my children. As much as I loved playing second base for many, many years, the joy and excitement of those games paled in comparison to the first time I saw each one of my kiddos walk onto the diamond in their adorable little uniforms. I have so many memories of them playing ... so many sweet and precious memories. Sometimes they were on teams that won all of their games in the season and went on to win the tournament, and sometimes they were on teams that didn't win a single game all season long. It didn't matter to me, however, if my kids' teams won their games or not ... I just loved watching them play.
There's a baseball field next to the trail where I walk or ride my bike; in fact, my sons played many games on that very field. Last night, I decided to take Ollie for a short walk since he was going crazy in the house. I think Julie was happy when I took him away from her for a little while because he was pestering the daylights out of her in a big way. I woke up teary yesterday morning, and I had fought all day against completely losing it while I was at work. I'm sure part of it was that I'm always more emotional for a couple of days after I have fasting blood work, but more than anything, it was because it's only a little over a week until my son Matt leaves for Canada. Ollie and I hadn't walked very far at all until tears filled my eyes and spilled out onto the trail beneath my feet, and by the time we reached the baseball field, I was crying my heart out. I looked toward the field and saw that there was a game being played ... a baseball game was being played by little boys in adorable uniforms. Stopping dead in my tracks, I said to Ollie, "Look, wiener dog ... look at the little boys playing baseball. My little boy is leaving, Ollie bear ... he's leaving and he's going very far away." Ollie and I stood at the edge of the trail for a long while watching the little guys play ... him wagging his tail and tugging on his leash, and me trying to wipe my tears with the top of my t-shirt as memories of my children's softball and baseball games raced through my mind.
By the time I finally told Ollie that it was time to go home, the sun was beginning to dip low in the sky and was creating one of the beautiful Kansas sunsets I've grown to love living out here on the Plains. As I pushed the button to open my garage door, I sighed deeply. Next week is going to be hard, Ollie bear, really hard. I can't stand to think about saying goodbye to Matt and Becca and C.J., buddy ... I can't stand the thought of it. Coming into the house and seeing my old Julie creep up off the floor and lumber toward me, I rubbed her head and looked deeply into her golden eyes. "I don't like goodbyes, Julie girl ... I don't like them at all." I've had so many Matt memories pounding in my mind for the last couple of weeks, and as I brushed my teeth and got ready for bed, I thought about the little boys I had watched playing baseball ... I thought about my little boys and my little girl. I closed my eyes and tried to recall the sound of their voices ... "Hey, batter batter! Hey, batter batter ... swing!"
I'm going to miss you, Mattie ... I'm going to miss you a whole lot. But ... you hit a home run in scoring your professorship, buddy, and it's almost time for you to run around the bases and step on home plate. Hey, batter batter ... I'm proud of you, son.
No comments:
Post a Comment