Firm Foundation

When my children were very young, they would lift their little arms for me to pick them up. I can remember carrying them around the house, dancing with them in my arms, snuggling with them on the couch, rocking with them in the recliner, reading with them in their beds. I recently told each one of them that I hoped that for all the things I did wrong as a mom when they were growing up, that at least I made sure they knew how much I loved them. More than anything, I wanted my children to have the firm foundation of my love underneath them ... I wanted to establish a solid base of love that they could build upon for the rest of their lives. If I didn't do anything else right, I pray that each one of my three children felt the strength of that foundation beneath them when they were young and as they grew and even now as adults ... I sure pray that I at least got that one right.

Last Sunday afternoon, I took Brad and his girlfriend Shelby out to lunch for his 25th birthday. As I watched my son eat way more food than any human should consume in one meal, my mind couldn't help but wander back to the days when he would hold his arms up toward me and say, "Hold you, Mommie, hold you," (yeah, he had it backwards but it was stinking cute to hear him say it). As quickly as that thought entered my mind, it was swept away by the memory of a night at my kitchen table with Brad ... a night when he was weeping as he confessed that he had gotten into some trouble and needed my help. Watching him chow down on his barbecue as he sat next to the woman he's madly in love with, I blinked back tears as I realized that the roles between us have shifted. As he spoke about a most serious subject we had discussed a few weeks ago, I understood that where I once was his foundation and his rock to build upon, he has now become mine.

Yesterday, I spent the day shopping and lunching with Meghann ... just the two of us. I can't remember when we've spent a day together like that, and it was one of the best days we've shared together in way too long. We laughed as we tried on clothes together in the same dressing room (mainly for me so that Meghann could help me choose clothes ... remember, I hate to shop and certainly don't have an eye for style like my daughter does), and then we ate lunch at one of her favorite places. As we sat at the table in the restaurant talking about the same most serious subject, my eyes filled with tears as I realized how grown up my daughter has become. She offered words of encouragement and love to me, along with some truly deep words of wisdom, and I was struck by the level of maturity that I saw in her. When I climbed into my car after we said goodbye, I understood that where I once was her foundation and her rock to build upon, she has now become mine.

Last night, Matt called and asked if I wanted to Skype with my granddaughter ... well, duh, of course I always want to Skype with C.J. My conversation with my oldest son was far different than the ones I recently had with Brad and Meghann ... it revolved more around, "C.J., can you roar like a dinosaur? C.J., can you wave bye-bye? C.J., can you show Granny how you can crawl? C.J., don't slap the spoon out of Daddy's hand while he's trying to feed you." We didn't even touch on the same most serious subject, and that was as it should be, lighthearted, newsy, baby-oriented conversation ... and it was wonderful. But when we clicked off of Skype to end the call, I understood that where I once was his foundation and his rock to build upon, he has now become mine. 

I've been through some tough stuff over the last few weeks, yep that whole most serious subject thing, and my children have been my rocks through it all. Were it not for them and their unconditional love, I'm not sure I could withstand the storms that have been raging around me. The foundation of love they've placed beneath me gives me a place to begin building upon and also gives me the strength and encouragement to even start hammering. I think maybe, just maybe, I did get that part right with the three of them ... I think maybe the foundation of love I tried so hard to lay underneath of them is standing the test of time. I think it is indeed.