Yo, Adrian

There are some movies that live on long beyond their run in theaters, and the Rocky movies are among them. I'm sure many of you could join me in saying that one of the most moving scenes in all of movie history took place when Rocky Balboa was finally able to run up all the stairs at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. I remember how the audience in the theater cheered when Rocky made it to the top and lifted his arms in celebration of his hard-earned accomplishment. The truth is that those of us who were watching the film knew that Rocky reaching the top of the stairs was about way more than the physical feat of running up the stairs ... it was the demonstration of the epitome of courage and determination and perseverance (and more than a little bit of foreshadowing as to the eventual outcome of his title fight against Apollo Creed).

I haven't been sleeping well for the last couple of weeks (or years), and it's totally showing on my face this week in the form of deep, dark circles under my eyes. So much so that several people at work have said, "Yo, Adrian," when they saw the darkness beneath my eyes ... I look like I've been in a title fight and came out on the losing end of the battle. Couple the blackness below my peepers and the bloodshot whites within them, and I've looked pretty rough around the edges all week. And the icing on the cake has been my mood ... suffice it to say that somber is a good start to describing my state of mind for the week.

As I was driving home tonight, I started talking to God ... yes, I talk to God out loud in my car when I'm driving back and forth to work. "So what's the lesson in my black eyes, huh? I'm sure You've got one somewhere ... You always do. But I've gotta tell You ... I really don't see how me looking like I've been in a fight can have any value or meaning whatsoever other than embarrassing the daylights out of me." And that's when the lesson popped out and smacked me right in the face ... I can't do one stinking thing to make the dark circles under my eyes disappear ... not one stinking thing. The only thing that is going to make them go away is when I finally get some quality sleep time ... they aren't going to go away until I can lay down and rest peacefully. As much as I can't control the darkened shadows beneath my eyes, I also have no control over what people may think when they see them ... some think I'm sick; some think I'm injured; and some really do think I got punched in the face. It's only the ones who've cared enough to ask me what was going on with my eyes ... only those folks know the truth behind my eyes ... only those folks know the truth.

The more I've thought about the lesson this evening, the more I understand that the truth God wants me to absorb has nothing to do with my eyes and everything to do with my heart. I've spent a lot of time walking around with deep, dark circles beneath the eyes of my heart ... deep, dark circles that I have no control over ... deep, dark circles that will only go away when I can lay down the burdens I've been carrying and rest peacefully in the arms of my Lord. I can't control what people may think when they see my heart ... some think I'm sick; some think I'm injured; some think I've been in a massive fight. It's only those who care enough to ask me what's going on inside my heart ... only those folks know the truth within my heart ... only those folks know the truth.

And now, it's late and I'm going to bed and hope for sleep to come. And as I do, my prayer is a simple one ... Please calm my heart, God ... please let Your peace wash over me ... please help me to rest in You.