The Dreaded "A" Word

People often ask me how I ended up as a senior editor for an advertising agency considering that I began my work career as a college professor of English and Spanish. And my answer is always the same ... I'm not really sure how my path shifted from teaching to editing, just where the journey of life led me, I suppose. On Sunday, I will have been at the agency where I'm currently employed for 10 years, the longest I've worked at one place since my first job in high school. While there are some days that are long and pressure-packed, there are far more days when I am so thankful for my job and the people I work with each day. There's an energy in our company that I've never experienced at any other job, perhaps due in part to the creativity that flows from the folks who fashion all the fancy advertising you see in magazines and newspapers and on television and the Internet every day.

My job is words ... all day, I read words and check words and change words and suggest words and research words and write words. Someone once told me that I should keep all my emptied red pens for a year to see how many I've used ... hmmmm ... maybe I'll start doing that in January. I've been super busy at work for the last couple of weeks ... it seems like every single client has huge projects being produced at the same time. One evening this week while I was working on a large catalog at home, I found myself thinking about all the different words I read in any given week ... big words, little words, scientific words, simple words. I read a ton of words every day, and there are some words I like way more than others. For example, I love the words "duly," "plethora" and "dapper," and I detest the words "moistness," "grouting" and "inanimate." And here's the thing ... my love or hatred for those words has nothing at all to do with what they mean or how they are spelled, but everything to do with how they sound when they are spoken.

There is, however, one word that I've come to despise more than any other word in the English language, based not upon sound but solely upon meaning. It's the dreaded "a" word ... accountability. I detest and loathe that word when it is used in the context of the following sentence: "Terrie, I'm going to hold you accountable on this." And the truth is, I've heard that sentence more in the last few weeks and months than I ever have in my life ... and I don't like it. Let me say that again ... I don't like hearing that sentence. Actually, it's not really hearing the sentence I don't like, it's the coming action that the sentence signifies is about to take place ... another person will be making sure I'm doing what I said I would do or that I'm not doing what I said I wouldn't do. One more time ... I do not in any way, shape, form or fashion like hearing that sentence.

I've been super down in the dumps for the last couple of weeks as I've been trying to work through some big personal stuff, and more than once over the last few days, people at work have either said to me or written to me, "We're family here, Terrie, and we're here for you." I myself have said those words many times over the last 10 years regarding the unique atmosphere that exists among those of us who work together. I've personally experienced that family type of commitment from my co-workers many times ... cards, flowers and phone calls when my mom passed away; food brought to my house when I was sick; offers to help with repairs on my home; sending gifts and attending the weddings of my children; and most recently, giving very generously to the American Diabetes Association in support of the annual diabetes walk I participated in earlier this fall. And that brings me to the dreaded "a" word ... one of my co-workers is holding me accountable for something I promised to do twice each week ... something that my favorite (and yes, that word is dripping with sarcasm in case you didn't notice) doctor says is a giant step on my journey toward getting better ... something that is hard, hard, hard for me to do.

I thought for sure today that I was off the hook as the clock ticked nearer to 5:00 when the person popped over to my cube and reminded me of my promise. I tried to fuss and whine my way out of it, but the person is a tough cookie and refused to back down until I did what I said I would do. And guess what? It was a little easier to do today than it was the first time I did it. And guess what else? It's good for me to do it. And guess what else? My heart feels a little less heavy tonight because I did it. And guess what else? I believe the doctor is right and that it will help me to get better. And guess what else? I think maybe the "a" word isn't such a bad word after all.