One Fidget Two Fidget Red Fidget Blue Fidget

I'd be willing to bet that most of you who are parents have said the following words to your child or children multiple times, especially when they were little guys and gals ... "Stop fidgeting!" And I'd also be willing to bet that many of those admonitions occurred while you were attending church with said child or children or out to dinner with your boss and his or her family or at a fancy theater production. Kids just seem to have a hard time being still period, but their moving around certainly seems to rise to a totally different level when it's important that they not fidget. The truth is it's not only children who fidget when they are in situations they find uncomfortable, there are plenty of adults who do the very same thing.

One of my friends often says she hopes she never has to spend time with a head doctor because she's afraid of what the doc might discover once he or she started poking around in her brain. I always smile when she tells me that ... yep, yep, yep, I do indeed. If you would have told me a couple of years ago I was going to spend a significant amount of time under the care of a head doctor, I would have told you that you were the one who was in need of some serious therapy and counseling. To say that I've learned a few things along the way during my sessions with the good doctor would be the greatest understatement in the history of the world. From the moment I set foot in her office, I started learning and to tell you even a pinch of what that learning involves would take a very long time. Sometimes learning means acknowledging things I already know but am too afraid or too stubborn or too proud to admit ... okay, fine ... lots of times that's what learning means for me. But then there are times when my life-saving head doctor brings something to my attention that I really didn't know or recognize or understand ... like, oh, say, fidgeting.

I'm not a foot patter or a pencil tapper, but I am a fidgeter ... not all the time, mind you, but I am most definitely a fidgeter when I'm nervous or anxious. And the thing is, lots of times when I'm fidgeting, I'm actively trying not to fidget. Or I think I'm not fidgeting when in reality, I'm fidgeting all over the place. Like today, for example ... I was talking with a friend, and I was holding a tie in my hands. I strolled away from the conversation and thought smugly, "How about that? I didn't fidget one single time!" And then I walked into the restroom and looked in the mirror to tie my tie and realized I had been a fidgeting fool the entire time I was talking to my friend ... moving from side to side, shuffling my tie from hand to hand, looking away ... I was a fidgeting fool for sure ... sheesh.

There's probably some reason as to why I fidget in certain situations ... of course there is a reason ... there's always a reason. And here's the thing ... the really annoying and frustrating thing ... I know the flipping, stinking reason I fidget, and I can't seem to get past it. No, wait, let me rephrase that ... I haven't been able to get past it ... yet. The key word is yet ... I'm working on getting past it ... I'm working really, really, really hard on getting past it. If the only thing I ever learn from my head doctor is that "yet" is one of the most important and beautiful words in the English language ... well ... suffice it to say I believe with all my heart I've learned something of true worth and great value. It's about trying again and again and again ... it's about not giving up ... it's about believing in the process and God's ultimate plan ... it's about trusting in the journey and the amazing, loyal, steadfast people who are committed to walking the road with me.

One fidget two fidget red fidget blue fidget ... I will do it, yes I will ... I will do it standing still.