The Post You Probably Shouldn't Read

First, I should tell you that tonight's post is going to be a venting session for me, and there are some of you who probably should stop reading right now and come back tomorrow or the next day when I've cooled off and am back to my sweet, kind, tug-on-the-heartstrings kind of writer you like to hear from because that's not the kind of writing you'll be reading this evening. It's your choice, but consider yourself warned ... this may be a post you probably shouldn't read. I'm pretty sure a lot of gay people will agree with much of what I have to say tonight and will, in fact, applaud me for speaking from my heart. I'm also pretty sure a lot of straight people will totally disagree with much of what I have to say tonight, and will, in fact, judge me even more harshly than they already have. So be it on both counts ... I have a few things I need to say ... a few things I need to set straight ... pun totally and completely intended, by the way.

I've encountered a lot of folks since I came out of the closet who believe some things to be true about me that ... well ... that just aren't true. When I tell a woman she has on a pretty dress or that she looks good in a certain color, it's got no more to do with my sexuality than it does when I tell a man I like his shirt or that his beard makes him look dapper. Saying or thinking that a woman is kind or humble or compassionate or sweet has nothing to do my sexuality ... people don't think it's about my sexuality if I say or think those same things about a man. Being gay does not mean that I'm attracted to every woman I meet or every woman I already know, just like being straight doesn't mean that a person is attracted to every person of the opposite sex they meet or already know. I don't get why some folks think that gay people are automatically attracted to every person in the universe who is of their same sex. It doesn't work that way for straight people, and it doesn't work that way for gay people either.

And a side note to the straight women who believe that because I'm gay I must have a thing for you ... sorry, but sometimes I wonder if you gals need to focus more on your own sexuality rather than mine. Trust me ... I can hug you as my friend ... I can tell you you're beautiful as my friend ... I can even say I love you as my friend ... and only as my friend. And if you think I can't ... or if me doing or saying those things is an issue for you ... again I say, maybe you need to take a long, hard look at who you are rather than who I am.

Here's the thing ... the thing we all need to have seared into our hearts and carved into our minds ... we wound each other by judging and assuming and jumping to unfair conclusions, and it needs to stop. I know firsthand how painful and deep those wounds can be, friends ... it needs to stop... it just needs to stop. 

"For this is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another." 1 John 3:11