What Love Looks Like

I've never been the kind of gal who spends hours in front of the mirror primping ... just give me enough time to throw some gel in my hair and slap on a little foundation and blush, and I'm ready to go. Some people, however, both female and male alike, spend hours and hours in full-blown primping mode making sure they look their absolute best before they leave the house. I'm not saying that primping is a bad thing, and I'm certain some folks would say I would be well-served to spend more time doing just that. There are also those who would say that my lack of concern regarding primping goes hand-in-hand with the smoldering sense of guilt and shame that has been with me for as far back as I can remember. Perhaps there is some truth to that avenue of thinking ... perhaps I don't primp because down deep inside I don't feel worthy. But maybe there's no deep psychological meaning at all when it comes to my non-primpiness ... maybe it simply means that more often than not I'm running late and don't have time to stand and look at myself in front of the mirror. Maybe that's a question for my life-saving head doctor to answer, eh?

Even though we'd all like to believe that we aren't judged based on how we look, the truth is that we are all on the receiving end of that type of appraisal by others and the even more humbling truth is that we all size other people up based on how they look as well. Sometimes I wonder what the world would be like if there were no mirrors ... if the only knowledge we received about how we look was based solely upon the mirrors in the eyes of those who see us. That's a terrifying prospect for many people, you know ... to be forced to see their reflection only through the eyes of others. Even if we are critical of what we see in the mirror or judge ourselves harshly or feel unworthy and ashamed ... even then, we consider it easier or better or less frightening to see what we look like for ourselves than to trust the eyes or hearts or lips of another.

Last night I was invited to attend my son Brad's girlfriend's senior voice recital at the university where she attends. Though I knew Shelby is majoring in music therapy, and though she and Brad have been dating for quite a long time, I was completely blown away from the moment she opened her mouth to sing. I had never heard her sing before last night ... holy, holy cow ... that little gal has an incredibly beautiful voice. I was already nervous because I knew I would be meeting Shelby's parents for the first time last night, and as fate would have it, right around the time I needed to leave, the weather guys issued a severe thunderstorm warning. We all know that stormy weather and I make for a bad combination even when I'm hunkered in the basement in my makeshift storm fort with my dogs in their kennels and the kennels bungeed to the water pipes. Hearing the beep beep beep of the weather alert on the TV combined with knowing that it was almost time for me to get in my car and drive 45 minutes straight into the oncoming storm ... not good, not good at all. I was glued to the radar and praying with everything in me that the storm would blow through quickly when my power went out ... un-flipping believable. Not only could I not see how I looked as I tried to finish getting dressed, I couldn't see the radar to track the storm ... again I say, not good, not good at all. By the time I climbed into my car, my heart was pounding so hard, I was certain it would explode. But ... I drove through the thunder and lightning ... I drove through the pouring rain ... I drove through the fierce wind ... I drove through the storm because my love for Shelby was stronger than my fear.

Driving home in the darkness last night, I smiled as I recalled the look in Brad's eyes when Shelby walked onto the stage ... and as I thought about Brad and Shelby, I found myself thinking about what love looks like. It looks like my son last night ... buying flowers, candy and Diet Coke to give to Shelby after her performance. It looks like my daughter Meghann working side-by-side with my son-in-law in the church he pastors. It looks like my son Matt wiping my granddaughter's face after she eats. It looks like Shelby blowing Brad a kiss across a crowded room. It looks like Barrett taking care of Meghann when she's sick. It looks like Becca resting her head on Matt's shoulder as they watch a movie. It looks like my little C.J. saying, "Hi, Ghee, hi!" when we Skype. It looks like friends encouraging one another during difficult times. It looks like the elderly couple holding hands in the grocery store. It looks like the young girl rescuing a lonely dog from a shelter. It looks like the man helping a teenager change a flat tire. It looks like the neighbor shoveling snow for a single mom. 

What love looks like ... love looks like all of us, friends ... love looks like every single one of us if we only take the time to see. Every now and again, it can even look a little bit like me ... driving on a highway in the storm ... it can even look a little bit like me.