A few years ago, I spent some time teaching senior high Sunday School when my son Matt was in high school. I look back on those years with such fondness ... the kids were such a great group, and I had a blast working with them. We had some truly awesome times together ... a ski trip to Colorado, breakfasts at my little house (packed with 20 or more hungry teenagers!), a class one Sunday when the kids washed each others' feet ... so many wondrous memories for me, and hopefully for the young people who are now adults themselves.
One of the things that struck me in working with the youth was how they seemed to always have certain "catch phrases" that they would say over and over in their conversations. Word combinations like, "Get a life," "Check it out, dude," or "Gimme a break." Over the last few weeks, one particular phrase that the kids often used has returned to my mind and caused me to contemplate who I am and what I hold to be true in my life.
Whenever someone in the group was thinking too highly of themselves or demonstrating questionable behavior or pretending to be something they weren't, invariably one of the kids would say, "Get real." Once again, two little words with huge meaning and impact that have taken on new truth for me even years later. In fact, I woke up this morning thinking, "Am I real? Is my life one of integrity? Am I who I say I am? Do I keep certain things in my life hidden away and hope that no one will ever find me out? Am I really honestly completely and totally real? And if I do get real, will the people in my life still love me? Will they love the real me, the me that is tucked away, the me that at times is not very pretty or loving?"
As I ponder and think and meditate on and contemplate those questions, there are other questions that storm into my consciousness and demand my undivided attention. They are the real questions, the important questions, the questions that override all the others. Am I real with God? Am I trying to play a game with Him concerning certain areas of my life? Am I honest with Him? Am I listening to Him?
Make me real, God ... whatever that means, wherever that takes me, however you need to work on me, whenever you choose to humble me ... please, God, make me real.
1 comment:
whew! you're smokin' again lady! LOVE THIS POST. all of us look in the mirror sometimes and are confused about just who is looking back at us. and all of us have dark places that we struggle to permanently escape from.
just when i think i've arrived, i find myself a few hours, days or weeks later back in the pit i tho't i would never be stuck in again. its really frustrating! and it is confusing, cuz which person am i really? the one who's arrived or the one stuck in the pit? (of despair - ha ha to all of the princess bride fans out there!)
do i hold grudges and harbor resentments...or do i forget and forgive? are my tho'ts wholesome or not so much? do i love unconditionally...or not really? am i willing to serve unconditionally...or not really? tough questions, tough answers.
kudos to you for challenging us to think about them. again and again and again. :)
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