Remember when you were a kid playing with your friends and someone wouldn't like the way things were going and would shout, "Do-over, do-over, I need a do-over!" And after some discussion ... OK, after intense arguing ... the person who had made a wrong move or play would either get their do-over and the game would proceed, or the person would quit the game, storm off angrily and ruin the fun for everyone else.
As an adult, I've often thought how awesome it would be if I could have a do-over at times in my life. Times when I spoke in anger and hurt another person; times when I made a poor choice that lived on to affect not only me but those I loved for years to follow; times when my behavior or actions were anything but Christlike or godly. I can't help but wonder what path my life would have taken had I been allowed to back up, start over and do things differently from time to time.
Perhaps the greatest dilemma of all presents itself in the questions that are begged from this introspection ... why do I continue to make the same mistakes over and over again? Why do I not listen to the ones God places in my life to give me guidance and direction and to steer me away from dangerous situations? Why do I make choices that I know will cause me or others pain or heartache? Why do I knowingly and willingly choose to sin? Why do I ... why do I ... why do I?
I've been thinking a lot about forgiveness lately, about grace, about mercy. I've been thinking a lot about the ways I dishonor the Savior whom I claim to serve. I've been thinking a lot about integrity, character and purity. I've been thinking a lot about confession and honesty and repentance. I've been thinking a lot about needing a do-over in certain areas of my life. And I've come to the conclusion that the truth is that God offers me a do-over every single morning ... a clean slate to start the day. He stands waiting for me to take Him up on that offer ... to fall on my knees, to weep before Him, to tell Him I am nothing without Him, to throw myself on His grace, to embrace His mercy, to beg His forgiveness.
So here's the deal, God ... I need a major do-over. I need that clean slate. I need a new start. I need You, Lord, more than anything or anyone else ... I need You.
1 comment:
it is hardest to forgive ourselves. i think we all have certain moments seared into our hearts forever. moments that we chose unwisely. moments that we hurt someone else, intentionally or unintentionally. i have a hard time forgetting those, much less forgiving myself for them!
but you are right about the do-over part. looking at the way most of us behave, i'd say god specializes in do-overs. :)
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