Over the last eight months, I've learned more than I ever wanted to know about diabetes and how to best manage my blood sugar. Well, I suppose I should say "am learning" rather than "have learned" because it's definitely a daily process. Some days are better than others ... and some days are just cruddy. And today ... well, today has been a cruddy day.
One of the biggest lessons I'm learning is how God protects me time and time again. In all the spills I've taken over the last couple of months, I haven't broken a bone or split my head open ... some bruises and scrapes, but no serious injuries. The law of averages would say that one of those falls should have done some damage, but none of them have, unless, of course, you count the broken toilet seat. And for some of the worst episodes, in His protection and care, He has placed me in locations where there were people present who know how to help me.
I need to say here that when I go into the land of really low blood sugar, I can be rather difficult to deal with. I don't think clearly and am not always willing to accept the assistance that I need. I can't begin to explain how humbling it is to have someone else stick my finger, hold my juice for me or put glucose pills in my mouth because I'm shaking so badly I can't do it myself. I can't convey how embarrassing it is for me to be at church or work and have a bad episode and not be able to control it or make myself come out of it on my own. I can't describe how helpless I feel when others gather round and won't let me drive my car because they recognize that I'm not OK.
Tonight when I got home from church (after everything that I mentioned in the last paragraph had happened to me), I opened an email that not only touched my heart, it taught me once again that God is in the nitty gritty details of my life and that He has put special people close to me to think for me when I can't, to feed me when I'm not able, to stick me when I'm shaking ... to help me when I need it most. The words of the email jumped off the page at me as they reminded me that I'm part of a new village now that I'm on this diabetes journey ... a village of people who love me and are willing to go the extra mile to ensure that I'm cared for and safe and well. I was convicted of my stubbornness, my obstinance, my desire to do it all by myself as I read.
So I'm going to stop my whining and gracefully accept the blessing of the awesome people who are my village. I'm going to trust them more, respect them more, listen to them more, love them more. And before I close my eyes tonight in sleep, I'm going to thank God for His gift of my village ... my undeserved and unimaginable village.
2 comments:
Terrie, you made me think of my daughter. She has a condition known as ED. The prevalent condition is no sweat glands and that means she has to be very careful not to overheat. What made me think of her is that when she begins to overheat she becomes irritable and uncooperative which leaves her reliant on a "village" to take the necessary steps to cool her down. She is 19 and has recently moved into an apartment. I worry about her self-monitoring abilities. Thank you for forming my prayer for her. I pray that she is blessed with a village to help her when she is in need and the humility to accept the help.
it is truly a humbling moment when you realize you are part of a village. even though you didn't sign up for it, even though you didn't go looking for it.
its even harder to accept and look for the silver lining each and every day, especially on those hurricane days! ;)
but it always comes back to the people, our village. cuz they are unexpected and truly god-given gifts.
if you think about any affliction that lands you in a village ;) from a raw christian perspective, is it such a bad thing to be humbled? is it such a bad thing to rely on those who love us? is it such a bad thing to look at things in a new light and gain insightful (firsthand) new perspectives on an old topic?
no its not always fun. some days just plain suck if you want to be real about it. it is definitely a process, but it we stick with it the rewards are definitely worth it. cuz the real rewards are the relationships, the new friends god brings into our lives we otherwise never would have met. its cool to be part of a tapestry!
kudos to you for seeking out silver linings! they are almost always there. some days we just have to look harder than others. :)
Post a Comment