Homesick for You

When I was in college, I spent a summer attending school in Guadalajara, Mexico. I lived with an older couple, Guillermo and Carmen, incredibly sweet folks who each year opened their home and their hearts to students from the United States. It was the summer before my senior year at The University of Tennessee, and I had really never been away from home very much ... even during my times of raucous and wild living, I always hung around pretty close to home. I remember how excited I was to get away from Chattanooga when the day finally arrived for me to climb on the airplane and start my adventure ... away from home, away from rules, away from everyone. I also, remember, however, the feeling in the pit of stomach only two or three days later when I was so homesick I thought I would die. I missed my friends; I missed my job; I missed my dog; I missed American food; I even missed my family. I would have given anything to be able to go home. I made it through the summer, but that time away made me realize just how important and special home really was.

I've been homesick more than a few times since I moved away from my family and the little town of Red Bank, Tennessee, over 20 years ago, but that missing feeling has always passed pretty quickly as I've recognized that my home is now more in Kansas than in Tennessee. I'm not sure why, but lately ... lately, I've been homesick more than I can ever remember being. Perhaps it's because my family was here for Meghann and Barrett's wedding ... perhaps it's because my friend from Tennessee visited me for several days over the 4th of July weekend ... perhaps it's because of the deep sadness that seems to have taken up permanent residence in my soul. I don't know why, but I know I'm missing my family and the hills of Tennessee in a big way.

Tonight as I was driving home from work in the billion degree heat, I started thinking about the trips I've made back home over the years. I thought about the time the kids and I went without telling anyone we were coming ... I will always remember the look on my mom's face when she opened her front door and the four of us were standing on her porch smiling broadly. I thought about the trip I made home at the end of Daddy's life, knowing I was going there to stay until he passed away. I thought about the many trips my three children and I made to Chattanooga for Thanksgiving and the mountains of food our family consumed. I thought about the trip Meghann and I made for my nephew's commissioning ceremony when he was deployed to Iraq. I thought about my most recent trip home almost two years ago. Two years, I thought, has it really been almost two years since I made that trip? No wonder I'm so homesick ... I need a good old dose of Southern love and hospitality.

The more I thought about going home, my thoughts began to shift and I began to think about heaven. I wonder, I said to the air in the car, if God wants me to long for heaven the way I long for the mountains of Tennessee. It's so easy to get caught up in the daily events of life that I forget that this world ... Kansas or Tennessee ... is truly not my home. People often ask me where home is because of my slight ... yes, slight ... Southern accent, and when they do, I often say that I miss home. It struck me tonight that I should be homesick for heaven, and I should be sharing the hope of my heavenly home with those around me every day.

Help me to remember, Lord, when I'm homesick for an earthly place ... help me to remember that my real home, the only home that matters, is the home You have waiting for me. Make me homesick for You, Lord ... homesick for You.