The Semi-naked Treadmill

When my children and I moved from the house my ex-husband and I purchased when we first moved to Kansas City, we moved into a much, much smaller home. It was important to me, however, that even though the square footage was much less, we would still have four bedrooms so that each one of my kids would have their own space. My house is a story and a half ... a main level with two bedrooms, a bath, a family room and an eat-in kitchen; and an upper level with two bedrooms and a bath. As is true with most homes, we discovered a few quirks in our then 30-something-year-old house, not the least of which was that the upper two bedrooms are always hotter in the summer and colder in the winter than the rest of the house ... significantly hotter and colder, in fact.

A few months ago, some dear friends of mine gave me their old treadmill because they got a new one. I used to go walk at the mall near my house when the weather didn't allow me to walk outside, but now I can just jet upstairs to my treadmill and hoof away. The only problem is that it's hot here in Kansas City ... really hot ... so the bedroom that holds the treadmill is much hotter than the main level of the house where I reside most of the time. After a couple of nights of walking on the treadmill and soaking my clothes completely through with the sweat that was pouring from every pore on my body, I got a brilliant idea. Climbing the stairs and feeling the change in temperature about halfway to the top, I decided that I could strip down to my ... well ... my undies and my walking shoes for my hour or so of exercise on the treadmill. There's no one around to see me, unless of course you count my dogs Julie and Ollie, but I really don't think they care.

Last night as I walked in my semi-naked state on the treadmill, a thought popped into my head. If I die while I'm walking, someone is going to find me half naked on this treadmill and think I'm a crazy woman. And my next thoughts were ... So would that be the most embarrassing thing ever? Would the newspapers read "Woman found dead in her underwear on her treadmill surrounded by her dogs"? Would my children ever be able to live down the fact that their mom really was that crazy? 

As I contemplated stopping my walk and putting my shorts and t-shirt back on just in case I did bite the dust on the treadmill, I felt the now familiar nudging in my heart that God had something He wanted me to learn and understand and absorb. Everyone else in this world may see the clothes I wear on my body, but God sees the real me, the naked me, if you will. Others may see a smile on my face, but God sees my aching heart ... others may see a confident spirit, but God sees my overwhelming fear ... others may see strength or achievement, but God sees my weakness and pride.

It seems fitting to end this post with some verses from Psalm 139 in God's Word, verses that have taken on a whole new meaning to me over the last year ... He sees me ... He knows me ... He loves me.

"O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
You understand my thought from afar.
You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
And are intimately acquainted with all my ways.
Even before there is a word on my tongue,
Behold, O LORD, You know it all.
You have enclosed me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is too high, I cannot attain to it.

Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the dawn,
If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,
Even there Your hand will lead me,
And Your right hand will lay hold of me.
If I say, 'Surely the darkness will overwhelm me,
And the light around me will be night,'
Even the darkness is not dark to You,
And the night is as bright as the day.
Darkness and light are alike to You.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts; 
And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way."