Are You Listening?

My three children are close in age ... three years between Matt and Brad, and 17 months between Brad and Meghann. And to those of you who are parents of multiple children who were born close together, you will totally relate to my next statement. Sometimes when they were young, my kiddos would all talk at the same time and clamor for my attention and without fail, one of them would eventually shout, "Mommie, wisten to me ... wisten to me!!!" I think back on those years, and I wonder sometimes if I gave my children the individualized attention they each needed ... and if I didn't, kiddos, I'm sorry and I hope you know it wasn't for lack of trying. I hope that at least most of the time when one of you said, "Mommie, wisten to me," I listened.

I've been thinking about listening a lot lately ... listening to God, listening to family, listening to friends, listening to doctors. Tonight when I took Ollie for a walk, I realized as we crossed the street to head for the trail that I hadn't picked up my iPod off the kitchen table. It was chilly and gray out, and I knew that it would get dark quickly so I decided not to go back home to get it. The wind was rustling in the trees as we came to the trail, and I stopped and listened to the sound of the leaves as they swayed in the breeze. As we walked by the creek, I noticed the sound of the water as it flowed over the rocks. When cars would pass on the street, I was aware of the different sounds each car made as it zoomed by. As Ollie trotted by my side, I heard the click of his nails on the paved walkway. It was as we made the turn to come home that I realized that tonight's walk was very different ... I was listening ... really listening ... to the sounds all around me. It struck me in a big way that it was relatively deserted on the trail tonight, and yet I was hearing things I hadn't heard for a long, long time.

As we walked, I began to think about how many times lately I've wanted to shout, "Somebody listen to me ... please listen to me!" I thought about how often I've wished for someone to hear my heart and try to understand how I feel ... not to fix me or heal me or judge me or do anything for me ... just to listen and try to understand. I wondered how many times I've failed to listen to the people in my life who need me to hear their hearts and to understand how they feel. Tears filled my eyes and coursed down my cheeks as I thought of how much God wants me to listen to Him, to hear His heart, to understand His love for me. My tears fell like rain as I acknowledged that God wants to listen to me ... that He always wants to hear my heart and understand how I feel.

I know I've said it before, but God lives on my walking trail, friends. I don't know why He seems to choose so often to speak to me out on the path as I walk ... perhaps it's because that's where He can best have my undivided attention, where His voice rises above the clamor of life, where He and I can just simply talk, where He can share His heart with me and I can share mine with Him. Perhaps it's because He wants me to know that He is with me as I walk along the path of life, that I'm not alone wherever that path may lead. Perhaps it's because He simply wants me to listen ... to listen and understand that He is the beginning, the middle and the end of my trail.