There are several blogs I follow, including a marvelous one written by a gal I formerly worked with at the company where I'm currently employed. While I write from a faith-based perspective and I know that many of my readers are from a faith-based background ... that's not her type of writing. Occasionally, her choice of words can be ... oh ... rather salty. Sometimes she writes about hard and painful things. Almost always, she writes about her young children in a way that brings memories of my own three when they were but littles themselves. But in every single one of her blog posts, she makes at least one statement that stops me in my tracks and causes me to think deeply and search my own heart and mind for what I myself believe in and hold onto. And her post yesterday was no different ... words that leapt off the page at me and screamed, "This is so, so, so, so true! Pay attention to this, Terrie, pay attention!"
"I find that the grittiest pieces I write resonate the most with others. There are parts I'd like to share, but I don't, because I'm afraid. Because my story has always been too shrouded in privacy and fear. Each day I get better. But I must continue to circumvent the fear to be able to write the story well. Sometimes what we think of as the 'grittiest' may well be the most universal."
I'd like to have a nickel for every time I've said that it's the most controversial, the most painful, the most revealing thoughts and emotions that pour out of me and land on the pages of my own blog posts ... that it is those posts that garner the largest readership and the most commentary, both positive and negative alike. My writer friend is very correct in saying that it's the grit of daily life that we can all relate to and identify with ... it's the sharing of real-life stories, the good, the bad and the ugly, that draws us all together and makes us realize that we are not as alone as we so often feel that we are. And so, in the spirit of unity and realness, I offer up a bit of grittiness for all of you today with the following revelation ... I detest, loathe and despise having to go to the doctor for any type of "woman" issue. I'll bet more than one or two of you can relate to that statement, and to my male readers (and yes, I know there are plenty of you) ... sorry guys ... really ... sorry for this post.
I never like going to the doctor, never ever, which is probably a good part of the reason why my diabetes remained undiagnosed for so many years, but I especially dislike going to the doctor now, perhaps because I have had to go so much and to so many different ones in the last couple of years. And I completely hate having to go to the doctor when there is something wrong ... well ... something wrong with me in the female department. Perhaps it stems from being so overweight for many years or perhaps it's due to living alone for such a long time, but I don't like anyone to see me without my clothes on ... there, I've said it ... I have a thing about taking my clothes off in front of another person. So yesterday when I had to finally break down and admit that I had an issue that wasn't going to remedy itself on its own, I grumbled all the way to my doctor's office that I was going to be forced to disrobe once I got there. And sure enough, that's the first thing Kristin made me do when she came into the room, even though I pleaded with her to find a way to work around my shorts ... heck, I changed into floppy basketball shorts before I went for that very reason.
My experience yesterday wasn't at all pleasant, and it was topped off with the most painful injection of an antibiotic I have ever received. In fact, the pain was incredibly intense for the remainder of the evening, through the night and most of the day today, coupled with pain from the issue that had taken me to the doctor in the first place, and it didn't begin to ease off until this evening. When I was up at 2:00 a.m. soaking in a hot tub of water (with my two dogs keeping watch over me by the side of the tub, I might add ... yep, my dogs are the only creatures on earth who see me naked every single day) ... I began thinking about what my friend had written in her blog ... about the grittiest parts of life resonating the most with others. It struck me that if I close myself off from others and don't share the tough times ... if I try to cover up the grit and only show the glitter, it's like going to the doctor and fighting against taking off my clothes so that the doctor can do what she needs to do to make me well. I also couldn't help but think that it's in the grit of life that God shines the brightest, that He is able to do His greatest work, that His love reaches the farthest, that He calls His children to help each other the most.
So here's to sharing the grittiest of the grit of life ... to being open, honest, real and transparent from beginning to end ... to walking through the muck and the mire together ... to thinking less of myself and more of others.
"Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself." Galatians 6:2-3
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