Let God be God

Each time I travel to Tennessee, there are certain people I always spend some time visiting with. Like yesterday when I went to see Burley and Carl and Hazeline ... I always plan a day to visit them when I'm here. Like all the people in my family, from my sister to all my nieces and nephews and great nieces and nephews and now ... great great nephews ... holy cow, that makes me sound really old. Then there are others I may see on some trips and not on others. Like friends from high school or church. Like people I used to work with or knew from the neighborhood I grew up in. And then there are special friends that I've reconnected with on Facebook after almost 30 years ... yep, about two and a half years ago, one of my best friends from my late teenage years and I met up on Facebook and reestablished a friendship that was lost all those years ago. When I was in Chattanooga a couple of years ago, we spent some time together catching up on what had taken place in our lives during the three decades since we last saw each other. And last night, I sat down for dinner with my friend and some of her friends at a very cool Mexican restaurant.

While my friend and I have traveled different roads over the last years, there is a kinship that exists between us ... the kinship that comes from years of youthful camaraderie, the kinship that comes from the realization that life is too short to hold grudges or be unforgiving, the kinship that comes from the ties of family and the bonds of memories. I wondered when we first began to talk again after all those years if there was a plan or purpose behind the reestablishment of our friendship, if there was a reason our friendship had been restored. It wasn't long after we started talking that I began to understand that there was indeed a driving force behind those lengthy conversations ... my friend challenged me in ways that I had never been challenged before; she caused me to search deeply within and question who I was and what I believed; she made me evaluate the path I had chosen to follow in my life and to want complete honesty in my relationship with God. Though it took me a while to realize it, our renewed friendship was indeed part of God's plan to change my life in ways I never imagined.

As I drove back to the hotel last night, wave after wave of emotion swept over me as I thought about my journey of the last couple of years and about the season of life I'm currently in. I thought about all the times I've fought against God and His will for me, about all the times I've doubted His love for me, about all the times I've been chained by the fear of what others think of me. One thing I've learned this week is that I need to just let God be God, to stop trying to work everything out in my head and my heart and just let God be God, to purely and simply relinquish every ounce of pride and control I fight so hard to hold onto and just let God be God. Sometimes I think I forget that He created me in His image and for His glory. Sometimes I think I forget that He loved me long before I ever loved Him. Sometimes I think I forget that He doesn't need my help to manage my life.

I need to just let God be God ... to just trust Him, to just love Him, to just rejoice in Him, to just let God be God. And here's the thing ... if I let go of me and let God be God, I've got a feeling He'll take care of everything ... who I am, where I go, what I say, how I behave, when I finish ... I need to just let God be God.