My Hail Mary Pass

I've never been a huge football fan, but every now and then I watch a game on television. You know, one of those games that are so important to a ton of people ... um, what's it called? Oh, yeah, the Super Bowl. So last Sunday night after I read on Facebook about all the parties and get-togethers people were attending to watch the big game together, I flipped to the channel the game was on and watched a few minutes of it with Julie and Ollie snoozing next to me on the couch. Tonight, I can't tell you which team won (yes, I know that some of you are groaning as you read those words); in fact, until I began watching the game, I didn't even know the two teams that were playing. I can tell you, however, that one of the announcers made a comment that caused me to spend a bit of time researching just what a Hail Mary pass is. I've heard the phrase used many times, but I never actually knew where the term originated or what it really meant.

Though they had been used before, the words were made famous when they were used to describe a game-winning touchdown pass by the Dallas Cowboys quarterback Roger Staubach in a 1975 playoff game against the Minnesota Vikings. It was reported that Staubach, who was a faithful Roman Catholic, said that just before he threw the pass, he closed his eyes and whispered a Hail Mary prayer. The dictionary defines a Hail Mary pass as a very long forward pass made in desperation with only a small chance of success, especially near the end of a game. Another dictionary described it as a pass that is thrown with a prayer because the odds against completion are staggering.

Those of you who've been reading this blog for a while know that I Iisten to the little kids say their Bible verses at Awana on Wednesday nights. Every once in a while, the director of Awana asks me if I will do the lesson for the kids during their group time, and tonight was one of those times. The theme for February is God's faithfulness, and she had asked if I would share about a time in my life when God was faithful to me. When she first asked me about delivering the lesson for tonight, I said no, telling her that I didn't want to cry in front of the kids and ... well ... I cry easily and a lot now. But the more I began to pray about her request, the more I knew that there was a story God wanted me to share with the children. So tonight, I stood before the room of little kids and leaders, and I talked about my little J.R. ... about when he entered my life and when he left. And at the end of the story, I brought out little Ollie to give the kids a real, furry visual of how God is always faithful in His love and care for us. I'm not sure how much the kiddos got out of the lesson, but Oliver all decked out in his blue striped sweater and his red harness was a huge hit.

I'm sure you're wondering what in the world the beginning of this post about a Hail Mary football pass has to do with an Awana lesson about God's faithfulness. So here's the thing ... I'm going to see a new doctor on Saturday morning ... a doctor whose specialty is treating women with depression. I don't really have a choice about going; my regular doctor threatened to put me in the hospital if I didn't agree to go, and I absolutely do not want to go to the hospital. I made a decision last week when my doctor put forth her ultimatum ... that going to the new doctor is my Hail Mary pass. I even told the new doctor when she called me to schedule the appointment that I thought my coming to see her was pointless, that it was nothing more than a pass thrown in desperation with only a small chance of success. I'm weary of doctors and I'm weary of drugs and I'm weary of depression. And then the leader of Awana asked me to do the lesson for the kids, and for several days as I prepared to talk to the children, I've had to focus on God's faithfulness ... I've had to think about how and why He brought me and J.R. together ... I've had to wonder if my Hail Mary pass with the new doctor has more chance to succeed than I believe.

I managed to get through the lesson for the kids tonight without crying ... well, at least I didn't cry until I got in my car to leave, and then I sobbed as I drove home and for a good while after I got to my house. And as I close this post, the verse that I shared with the kids at the end of our time together is pounding in my mind. God's faithfulness ... my Hail Mary pass ... lots to think about, friends, lots to think about.

"Your lovingkindness extends to the heavens, O Lord, and Your faithfulness reaches to the skies." Psalm 36:5