How Much is Too Much?

Sometimes I have a day when I can't help but acknowledge that there is a much bigger plan in place than I ever knew. A day like today, for example, when a series of conversations and events took place that have caused me to stop and wonder ... to look up and question ... to sit down and listen. I feel the need to offer a bit of a disclaimer at the beginning of this post ... it is not my intention to offend anyone, but I do have a couple of things to say that some of you will quite probably not like too much. But ... the last time I checked, this is my blog, and as I've stated before, if you don't want to read it, don't read it.

I know there are those of you who think I made a terrible decision when I posted my January 1st entry to this blog, and you have the right to your opinion. I know there are those of you who applaud my decision to share my personal struggle with depression and suicide, and you have the right to your opinion. I know there are those of you who believe that telling the truth about my sexuality has caused irreparable damage to my testimony and my faith, and you have the right to your opinion. I know there are those of you who celebrate my quest to be real and transparent about who I am, and you have the right to your opinion.

Truth is ... we all have the right to our own opinions concerning many, many, many different issues in life. We even have the right to voice our own opinions on those various issues. The problem is that a lot of us, myself included at times, try to force our opinions on others because we think they can only be happy or faithful or loving or a good person if they believe the same things we do. If I haven't learned one single thing throughout my journey of the last year, I've learned this ... we all have our own stuff ... stuff that we deal with every single day of our lives ... and I never ever have the right to judge you or your stuff ... never ever. There's only One Who has the right to judge me or you or any of us, and that One certainly isn't me or any of you.

I could link literally hundreds of posts from this blog in which I've written about the need for love and acceptance for all of us, whatever our stuff may be. Posts in which I've offered up my own personal opinions on a ton of things. The key words in that sentence are "my own personal opinions," by the way. I'm not asking you to believe what I believe or think what I think ... no way, no how ... if for no other reason than I know ... oh, how very well I know ... the depth of my struggle with so many big questions that seem to have no real answers. What I hope I ask you to do when you read my posts is to think ... to feel ... to pray ... to step into the shoes of someone else, if only for a moment, and try to understand their stuff.

My son Matt was 10 years old, my son Brad was seven years old, and my daughter Meghann was six years old when I became a single mom. There were many, many times when they would beg me to buy something for them ... something that was expensive ... and I would have to say, "I'm so sorry, but I can't. It costs too much." And almost every time, one of the three of them would ask, "How much is too much, Mom?" Some of you would say that telling the truth has cost me an awful lot over the last year, and you are correct ... telling the truth has cost me an awful lot indeed. But ... not telling the truth ... not telling the truth would have cost far, far, far too much.

We all have stuff ... stuff that we deal with every single day of our lives. Try stepping into the shoes of someone else, even if only for a moment, and ask yourself, "How much is too much? How much really is too much?"