The F Word

For the hundreds of things my former supervisor taught me (or tried to teach me, as the case may be) over the almost 11 years that we worked together, there's one that I will forever remember ... "Perception is reality." While Donna's intended lesson for me in those three words was related to my job, there's a far deeper meaning and a far greater truth contained within them than just how I respond to the requirements of my position at work. Donna was correct in her statement that the way people perceive a person's abilities in the workplace setting often determines that person's reality in the office environment. For example, I am the person who lights the fire in the fireplace at the office every morning during the winter months ... I've been lighting the fire in the fireplace at the office for years now. Though I can't quite remember how I gained ownership of that particular task, it has become one of my favorite things to do. I absolutely love lighting the fire and keeping it burning throughout the day, and I'm good at it because my dad taught me the art of fire building when I was young. Remember, perception is reality ... keep reading.

Last week, the temperature was chilly enough to have a fire a couple of days ... I was beyond excited to get to the office on those days and get the fire going. Our company has grown a ton this year, and we have a lot of new employees who came on board during the summer months when there was no fire in the fireplace. They've never seen me build a fire or keep it stoked and roaring throughout the day. They've never watched me stack the wood in the cubby behind the fireplace or carefully arrange the wood on the metal grate each morning. They've never viewed the way I gently remove the ashes or clean the tools every couple of weeks. But ... but ... but ... they have heard that I am the keeper of the fire ... they have heard that I am the master fire builder ... they have heard that I am the queen of any and all things fireplace related. They perceive me to be the best fire builder, firewood tender and fireplace guru in all of SHS land ... the new folks don't know for sure that I am those things because they haven't experienced winter at our office yet. But they perceive those things to be true about me and therefore those things have become reality to them even though they had not witnessed my master fire building skills until last week. And the thing that is truly fascinating to me? Everyone in my office trusts that I will always have a warm fire burning for them on the cold days ... go ahead ... think about that one for a while, because I sure have.

Perception is reality ... when you read the title of my post tonight, I'd be willing to bet that a large majority of you immediately perceived that my subject matter would be about some controversial topic. Perhaps it would be about the dangers of using four-letter words, especially "that" four-letter word. Perhaps it would be about the derogatory word addressing the young server's sexuality that was used in the note that was left for him in lieu of a tip. Perhaps it would be about a personal confession from me concerning ... heck, I don't know what I've got left to confess really, but I know some of you read my blog with the hope that I'm going to confess some other big life-altering secret. If you're honest, many of you instantly thought of one particular word when you read the title to my post tonight ... and the sad truth to me is that there are many of you who thought I would write about that particular f word because your perception of me has changed since I opened up and told the truth about my sexuality. I can argue until I'm blue in the face that I'm the same person with the same moral and ethical code and the same values I had last year or the year before that or the year before that ... but it doesn't matter because your perception of me has become your reality of me.

The f word? There are hundreds of them, you know ... f words like faithful or frugal or furry or forever or frightened or freedom or fair or fun or forgotten or frosting or fight or father or future or fast or feasible or frenetic or fit or fascinating or friend or favor or flashlight or failure or feather or fine ... or ... or ... or ... my list could go on and on and on and on. I have a favorite f word, by the way ... it's forgiveness. If perception is reality, then that is mine ... the most important gift God ever gave any of us is forgiveness ... His for us and ours for one another. The f word ... forgiveness ... think about it.