Bread, Milk and Eggs

The things I've learned on Facebook are simply amazing. No, really ... I'm serious, and I know you agree with me. Would you know there are like 27 million ways to cook the perfect pizza had you not read 27 million status updates sharing the one true way to cook the perfect pizza? Of course you wouldn't, and neither would I. It's a crying shame that I don't eat pizza anymore since I now know 27 million ways to cook a supremely perfect one. A crying, crying shame. Especially on a snow day like today, eh? Oh, but wait ... the perfect pizza isn't what obviously every single human on the face of the planet knows is the only food to consume in order to survive a snow day without starving to death. And how do we as a people know what that food is? How do I ... a gray-haired gal sitting on the couch at my house in the middle of Kansas during a snowstorm that many people must believe with all their hearts is going to trap us in our homes for at least the next 60 days ... how do I know what is the only life-saving food during a snow entrapment? I read it on Facebook this morning.

I understand the perfunctory trek to the grocery store when the weather guys say the white stuff is going to fall from the sky ... I get that we all have to eat to survive. In fact, I went to the grocery store over the weekend to buy food ... like I do most every weekend. I bought flank steak, chicken, broccoli, sugar-free Cool Whip, peanut butter, salad, spaghetti squash, blackberries ... and oh, yeah, I bought milk and eggs, too. What I didn't buy, however, was bread ... I didn't buy bread because I don't eat bread because of the carbs and sugar it contains. My non-consumption of bread hasn't been an issue in the last four and a half years until I woke up this morning to see the snow falling and then to read on Facebook that I'm obviously going to kick the bucket in my snow-blanketed house because I don't have bread to make French toast. That's right ... everyone on the planet who is trapped in a snowstorm for more than 15 minutes must eat French toast in order to survive. That's why when the weather guys mention the possibility of snow in their forecasts, everyone flocks to the grocery store to buy bread, milk and eggs ... the three necessary ingredients for the one and only magical food that will enable them to outlast the wintry weather.

Truthfully? I felt a little stupid this morning when I read that important and potentially life-saving information about French toast. All these years, I've wondered why people were overwhelmed with the borderline insane need to purchase bread, milk and eggs when snow is on the horizon. I always wondered why those three items seemed to be the universally necessary food items to have on hand just in case you were to get stuck in your house for a couple of days. I mean, really ... if I could eat anything in the world I wanted while I was cooped up inside because of a snowstorm, it would be cheesecake or popcorn or mac and cheese or a loaded baked potato or chips and dip or a multitude of other foods. Trust me ... bread, milk and eggs wouldn't be at the top of my list of things to buy if I knew I might have to spend a couple of days inside. But now ... now I know why people fight one another for bread, milk and eggs before a storm hits. Now, thanks to Facebook, I know that French toast is humanity's lifeline in every snow or ice crisis known to man.

So I know you're wondering what deep and meaningful lesson lies within my discovery of the importance of French toast and snow days, and actually, I've got four. One ... I'm sure I only survived my snowy day in the house today by the grace of God since I didn't have bread to make French toast. Two ... God's shown me a ton of grace here lately, so I think I'd better try to find some low-carb, sugar-free bread before it snows again on Saturday. Three ... don't believe everything you read on Facebook ... duh. Four ... don't buy bread, milk and eggs because everyone else tells you they are what you need to make it through the storm. Yep ... go ahead and ponder on that last one ... it's pretty darn deep ... and so is the snow.