Thursday, February 27, 2014

Sometimes You Think You Know Someone

Some people would say I'm getting sappier as I age ... yes, I said "sappier" not "scrappier," though there are probably one or two folks who would argue that I'm getting scrappier as well. I never used to cry much; in fact, my mom used to tell me I was hard-hearted because I wasn't a crier. That's one thing Mom was wrong about, by the way ... just because someone doesn't cry easily or often doesn't mean they don't have a super tender and caring heart. Hmmm ... perhaps I need to pen a post titled "Things Us Moms Are Wrong About" ... Lord knows I've been wrong about a ton of things myself as a mom. But I digress ... back to me being more sappy than I used to be.

I've written previously about how I often peruse YouTube videos when I can't sleep at night, and that much of that perusing involves watching clips from The Ellen Show. (And so you know, I still want to be on her show someday in case any of you might have a plan of some sort to help me get there ... just sayin'.) While most of my late-night YouTube watching involved Ellen's show, every now and again I get distracted by some of the other suggested videos that pop up to the right of my screen. That's when I find myself hopping right on down the bunny trail from one video to another until I end up far, far, far away from where my YouTube adventure first began. And sometimes ... well, sometimes what I stumble upon touches me, and I sit on my couch and cry as I watch them. Some of the videos that make me weepy are just plain old sappy in nature ... like a mama pig nursing motherless kittens or an orangutan who becomes best buds with a hound dog or an old lady who sings to the single mom and her kids who live next door to her ... you know the type of clips I'm talking about, just sappy, tug at your heartstrings sappy. But then ... then are the videos that tell the story of some person or some event that is truly amazing ... those are the videos that make me bawl my eyes out and create a burning desire within me to be a better person.

A couple of nights ago, I watched a video about a 70-year-old calculus teacher in California ... a self-proclaimed and student agreed-upon tough, no-nonsense, "I'm not here to make school fun for you" kind of guy. That's the man the students encountered each day in class ... that's the man the students assumed their teacher was outside the walls of the classroom as well. You see, those students thought they knew their teacher ... the key words there being "thought they knew." It wasn't until one of the students volunteered to help out with a blood drive and attended a meeting at the local children's hospital that the students discovered there was a lot more to their calculus teacher than they new. You can only imagine the students' surprise when they learned that their tough, no-nonsense teacher regularly donates blood ... so much blood, in fact, that his name appears on a plague in the hospital. And that surprise quickly turned to amazement when the students learned what else their teacher does in his spare time ... for the last 20 years, he has volunteered to hold, rock, feed and comfort sick babies in the hospital.

I've thought a lot about the lessons contained within the story of the calculus teacher, and there are plenty of them ... lessons about sacrifice, selflessness and service. But the lesson that strikes me most, that touches me the most deeply, is one I can relate to on a personal level in a big old huge way. As the students talked about their teacher, one young man said something ... words I've heard and read countless times ... words I now understand on a whole new level at this point in my journey of life.

"Sometimes you think you know someone, and then you find out you don't really know them at all."

When I heard the young man say those words, I realized that, more often than not, I interpret those words to mean something negative about someone rather than something positive. You know ... like when you think the little old lady who lives around the corner is just a sweet, innocent old lady and then you find out she's a drug dealer or a money launderer for the mob. OK, that's an extreme example ... but I'd bet every single person reading this post has known or currently knows someone whom they believed was kind and honest and loyal and compassionate only to find out the person is a lying, backstabbing, hurtful, selfish jerk. As I listened to the young man's words, I began to think about the people in my own life who have surprised me ... people who have surprised me in a positive way. There are people whom I thought were tough, no-nonsense, life isn't about having fun, get it done folks who have surprised me with their kindness, acceptance, encouragement and love ... people I thought I knew until I found out firsthand I didn't really know them at all.

I'd like to close tonight by tossing out a challenge to all of you ... a call to action of sorts. You see, I know what it feels like to have people think they know me when they don't really know me at all, and that's not a fun place to be, friends ... not a fun place to be at all. How about we all spend more time looking for the good in people ... digging deeper, listening longer, loving louder. I think we may just be surprised by just how many calculus teachers there really are ... I think we may just be surprised indeed.

No comments: