But Then I Saw the Rainbow

It must have been around 1:45 this morning when I finally fell asleep ... at least the last time I recall looking at the clock was 1:32, so I'm assuming I fell asleep soon after that. It's unusual for me not to have trouble falling asleep ... my problem is being able to stay asleep or get back to sleep after I wake up a dozen times through the night. But last night, I was so totally worked up about a presentation I was involved in at work today that no matter what I did, I simply could not get my brain to calm down enough to allow me to doze off. Turns out all my worrying and fretting and tossing and turning about having to stand in front of all my co-workers and talk was for naught ... though I could feel my legs trembling and my stomach churning, I didn't cry or faint or throw up. Okay ... okay ... maybe I did tear up a little as my son Brad answered questions about the project we're working on together ... yep, maybe I teared up just a little.

For as much as I enjoy my evening walks with my wiener dog, Oliver, Fridays are the one day each week when I have to force ... and I do mean force ... myself to get off the couch and go for a walk. While I'd like to tell you the reason I don't want to walk on Friday evenings has to do with being tired after a week of work, that would really be the truth. While there are some Fridays when I am genuinely just worn out, most Fridays my not wanting to walk is because it's the beginning of the weekend ... and you all know how I feel about weekends. My lack of desire to go for a walk tonight was definitely a combination of the two ... being physically and emotionally exhausted together with the weekend blues made me want to crawl into my cave and hibernate when I got home from work. It wasn't until around 8 p.m. that I finally convinced myself to rise from the couch and head outside with my happy and excited little Ollie in tow.

We hadn't walked very far when I noticed some rather ominous looking clouds rolling from the east, but I thought they looked far enough away for Ollie and I to keep walking. We had walked for maybe 15 or 20 minutes ... me with my head down and eyes glued to the trail beneath my feet and Ollie with his chest puffed out and his little legs dancing along the path. It wasn't until the wind picked up and I felt a raindrop hit my arm that I looked up ... I looked up and saw one of the most beautiful rainbows I've ever seen. Vibrant against the gray and cloudy backdrop behind it, every color so distinct and separate as they came together to form the majestic banner in the sky.

By the time Ollie and I got home, we were soaking wet from the by then pouring rain. Obviously I was wrong in my judgment as to how far away the clouds were. Wow ... there's a profound truth contained within those words, "I was wrong in my judgment as to how far away the clouds were." I wonder just how many times in my life I've thought the clouds were farther away ... how many times the clouds overtook me and let loose a downpour in my heart. I wonder how many times I see nothing but the clouds and feel nothing but the rain. I wonder how many times I don't look up ... how many times I've been so obviously wrong in my judgment of the clouds and the rain.

I stopped long enough to snap a couple of pictures with my phone of the rainbow before Ollie and I gave up walking and instead dashed toward home as the rain began to soak my t-shirt and imbed itself in Ollie's fur. I realized something as we turned onto our street ... the only reason I looked up this evening is because I was looking for clouds ... for the sign of storms or the threat of rain. Be sure you caught that ... I was looking for clouds, but then I saw the rainbow.

But then I saw the rainbow ... but then I saw the rainbow ... but then I saw the rainbow.