Flight Risk

Remember last night when I said I was overwhelmed by the response to my joint post with my first-ever guest blogger? You can add about a gazillion notches in the being overwhelmed by the response category today, especially in the sub-category of comments being left on the post itself. It's been true ... puzzling to me, but nonetheless true ... that ever since I began blogging very few people have left comments on my actual blog but have rather chosen to email me or private message me on Facebook. For a long time, I thought perhaps that meant my posts were so terrible people didn't want the public to know they read The Tree House. Then for a long while after I told the truth about who I am, I thought the lack of public comments on my posts was because it's far easier to attack someone in private than it is in public. And recently, I've gone back to thinking that no one comments on my blog because it's not worth the time or energy it would take to leave a comment. So to watch the comments on "A Room Without Feathers" as they've steadily climbed today ... well ... honestly, that's both cool and terrifying to me at the same time. I think it's probably more cool than terrifying, though, so thank you to those of you who are commenting on that particular post and for your supportive and encouraging words.

A great deal of the comments and messages I'm receiving are positive ones directed to my friend who co-wrote the "Feathers" post with me ... in fact, I told her today I feel like I should be a little jealous of her rapid rise to fame among my readers. I was only kidding with her ... I am actually so happy for the way so many of you have responded to her that I asked her to write a solo post tonight, but alas, she said no. She did, however, without even a hint, trace or slight pretext of subtlety tell me numerous times today that I should write this evening ... going so far as to pull the "be nice to your readers" card in combination with the "they need you" and "they miss you" cards. It was her suggestion that she choose the title and subject matter for me to write about tonight that intrigued me enough to cause me to consider posting yet another entry this evening ... that and the fact that I've now heard three different people talk about something I'm very obviously supposed to learn and understand. But ... I meant what I said in last night's post ... please don't interpret my writing tonight to mean I'll be writing again tomorrow or the next day or the next day. No promises on anything right now ... no promises on anything at all.

I think it was the week before Christmas that the minister of the church I've been kind of sort of attending talked about the spirit of giving, and in his lesson, he talked about the most important gifts we can give another person ... our time, our attention, our focus. He talked about making time for people we love ... for our families, our friends, our co-workers. He talked about turning off our phones and being fully engaged when we converse with someone. He talked about the power of focus and of the importance of being completely present and involved in the lives of those around us. He encouraged us to perform a mitzvah ... an act of unconditional love and service toward someone who had wronged us in some way. It was a message I couldn't shake ... a message that has lingered in my mind ever since I heard it ... a message I will carry with me for many years to come ... a message that completely changed my way of thinking ... a message that caused me to stop dead in my tracks and examine my heart in a big, big, big way.

Last Sunday, I went to a different church with a friend from work who's been asking me for quite some time to join him and his family in worship. The church last Sunday is completely different from the other one, so you can only imagine my surprise when the minister last Sunday taught a very similar message to the one I had heard at the other church only a couple of weeks prior. He talked about the necessity of getting small with others ... of getting past the outer, superficial stuff we all cloak ourselves with and getting to the heart and center of who we are. He talked about how critical it is to every relationship in our lives that we be fully present and engaged with those whom we love. He talked about the need for eye contact in every conversation we have ... yep, he said we should look one another in the eye every single time we talk ... nope, I'm not kidding, that's really what he said. He talked about asking questions of others, digging deeper, being truly invested in another person and taking the time to seek out what matters to them. He talked about the absolute necessity for listening ... real listening ... serious listening ... undivided attention listening.

Two very different ministers at two very different churches teaching almost the same identical lesson in two very different ways to a whole bunch of very different people ... unplug and be present in the lives of others ... take the time to learn what is most important to them ... put down your phones and iPads and really, really, really listen to what the people you love and care about are trying to tell you ... talk to each other eyeball to eyeball and not through technology ... see one another ... love one another ... help one another. And then just a few days later, I read the words from my friend in our joint post ... "I choose to take the time for empathy. For listening. For making a difference. I will choose to put down the technology and engage with those I care about." Yep ... I'd say that's a lesson I need to learn alright ... I'd say that's a lesson God is trying to burn into my heart ... I'd say that's a lesson that is probably way more important than I know.

Something the second minister said has been gnawing at me over the last week ... he referred to himself as "a flight risk" and as he explained what he meant, I blinked back the tears because I knew I was guilty of being a flight risk to people in my own life as well. He demonstrated his personal flight risk behavior ... checking his phone while conversing with another person, indicating that text messages, emails, tweets or FB updates are of higher priority than the person sitting across from him ... constantly checking his watch, demonstrating his concern or anxiousness about the amount of time the conversation is taking ... moving away from the person as they speak, signaling that he wishes to exit the conversation ... abandoning the conversation when someone he deems more important or more interesting enters the area, displaying his lack of value or respect for the person who was involved in the original conversation.

That minister stood in front of his large congregation and told them that his friends and family considered him a flight risk when it comes to relationships ... he stood there and said they were correct in their analysis ... he stood there and said he wanted to change his behavior ... he stood there and asked them to forgive him ... he stood there and begged us not to be flight risks to others. I don't know about you, but I'm guilty ... guilty of not being fully present ... guilty of not paying attention to the needs of others ... guilty of not really seeing the people I interact with every day ... guilty of not listening ... guilty of not hearing ... guilty of allowing the tyranny of the urgent keep me from engaging with those whom I love and care about ... guilty of being a flight risk ... and my guess is ... my guess is I'm not the only one.

One feather at a time, friends ... one feather at a time.